I have seen many belly dancers at events that I've attended. One of the most amazing, talented, graceful and beautiful dancers that I ever had the pleasure to watch was not a small woman at all. Her control of her body was incredible, every move precise and sensual. She radiated self confidence, tons of sexual energy and happiness.. No one could take their eyes off of her... and with good reason, she was clearly not only the best dancer, but realized that she was a truely beautiful woman, no matter what her size.
Awwwww thank you guys. While I feel very confident about my general looks, I have a middle part that is very very pudgy But I am working on that. Years ago H made several comments on my weight and I think I have let those comments affect me not in a good way.
Belly Dancers have supburb control over their muscles. Its not easy to do. I have been practicing more over the past few weeks. Hopefully I can give H a real good sensual show soon
Annette who can't seem to shimmy and walk at the same time
Hey I can't do sh*t and walk at the same time anymore so don't feel bad!
Last night was a nice night. H was very repentant over being a limp noodle the night before. I tried, really tried, to just let it go and be my normal self. He did say though that I was not myself. I said "I am NOT mad at you; I just don't feel very warm right now." He replied that he was ready for me to start feeling warm again. (well I guess he is!)
I am of two minds on this one: On one hand, if there are never any consequences for his actions then he will do whatever he feels like with no regard to my wishes. On the other hand, how does it help me to reach my goal to remain distant from him?
In the end, I decided to read a novel until 9:00 pm and if he was still awake, I would be receptive to whatever he threw my way (reconciliatory sex no doubt). This was at 8:45. He was asleep 10 minutes later so it was not an issue.
Yesterday I was really feeling down on myself and the realization that I just do not turn him on at ALL was hard to swallow. Today is much better though. I did get all insecure and weird on him and warn him that it would be several months before I looked like "myself" again after the delivery..no response to that. I don't care. What could he have said; it was a ridiculous thing to bring up anyway.
He is taking me on a date tomorrow night and is really excited about it. I am strangely uninterested in the whole thing. I think because he just, frankly, waited too damn long. (this is after my last two failed date attemps in July and Aug) Now he is taking me on a date on Friday when my due date is Tuesday--how comfortable does he think I'm going to be sitting in a movie theater for 2.5 hrs? Besides movies are HIS thing--I could care less if I ever saw one again. I know he is not creative and most likely couldn't think of anything else to do so I will stop complaining. Here is the thing that is really eating me--it COULD HAVE BEEN a sexy night...where we were away from the kids and on a date for the first time in 2004!!...and we could have really connected. Instead I will be fat and waddling around and people will stare and ask me baby questions. I will not turn him on, there will be no anticipated return to our home so we can get busy, etc.
So that is what I am really feeling resentful about. I will work on ditching that today, as well as any other traces of pissy mood that are lingering from the other night.
Hang in there lady, you are down to the wire now. Why not tell H you really would rather have him, not go to the movies? I know, I know, I would probably not say anything either. I'm to the point where I feel any effort on H's part is something lol
Quote: how comfortable does he think I'm going to be sitting in a movie theater for 2.5 hrs? Besides movies are HIS thing--I could care less if I ever saw one again.
There does seem to be a weird pattern on this BB in that it seems like many of our LD partners are real TV addicts or cinemaphiles compared to us. I am sure I have "wasted" at least 5,000 hours of my life watching TV just because I wanted to keep my H company. Theoretically, we could have had sex 10,000 times instead.
I know your H would never go for it, but you could suggest the old bucket of popcorn trick just to get him riled up.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Oh well I've never been shy about saying when I am not following a particular discussion, or don't get a joke. I am a question asker, so Mo if you would kindly fill me in on the popcorn, I'd be obliged.
I have my suspicions already about its effectiveness though, since you said "get your H riled up".
Television and computers are addictions, alternative drugs to take them away from reality and interactions with other people. My STBX is also addicted to TV and we spent too many hours passively watching the "boob toob" instead of interacting with each other. When I would try to get him to do something else other than sit in front of the mind numbing set, he would object, sometimes strenuously.
Perhaps the LD/ND people use the TV to validate their existance in some manner. I know that it is used to self sooth on many ocassions. When I am particularly stressed, I will sit mindlessly in from of the TV or computer, so I am also guilty of the passive behavior.
Never could get that man to turn off the TV or computer and come to bed, ever.... Especially if I wanted some loving, he would stay up late and not come to bed until he knew taht I had fallen asleep...
When I would try to get him to do something else other than sit in front of the mind numbing set, he would object, sometimes strenuously.
Boy do I know that feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once I even turned the TV off to try to talk to him, and he immediately turned it back on. We actually had a sorta fight over that which caused me to walk right out the room. He is obsessed with TV. I have even, in the past, tried to seduce him in which he only craned his neck around me to watch the tv and ignored me. In the early years, if I would even talk while a show was on, he would get highly annoyed with me. So it has become his life *sigh*
But I am working on that. Years ago H made several comments on my weight and I think I have let those comments affect me not in a good way. 
