Well I don't want to leave any of you hanging, I know you are on the edge of your seats wondering if Honey got her just desserts last night.
Nope.
H was being very flirty and funny all night long; I was really enjoying the attention! He was making up songs and singing them to the kids "Momma needs some lov-in'......" etc. Again, with the engaged kisses and that certain twinkle in his eyes. I was really feeling good about the night and about him.
Then we got in bed and I got as close to him as I physically can and gave him a long hug. My H loves hugs more than any other physical contact and he just melted into me. We talked a bit and he began to stroke my c. Suddenly he asked me a graphic question about childbirth...I was a little taken aback because it is hard for me to stay in the moment and enjoy his ministrations when HE is not in the moment, kwim. I was irritated because I just wanted to ML; not to fight his tendency for mind wandering, etc, I just wanted to ML.
Then he started falling asleep. He probably fell asleep 15 times in the next 5 minutes. I began stroking him, thinking that it would get him going and stave off the sleepiness. He was not hard and I complained (I know, I know) that it has been ages since I reached over during foreplay and he was already hard. I'd say the last 9 times out of 10 I have had to manually get him hard. This is NOT like my H. I'm sure it has to do with my body, etc, but still.......I just thought that maybe he'd be hard since he'd been flirting with me during the night. He didn't like that criticism and I don't blame him but I do wish that I turned him on enough to get a freakin hard on when he is stroking my cl!t, for goodness sakes.
He stayed awake a little better with me stroking him, maybe only falling asleep 3 or 4 times within the next few minutes, but eventually I got fed up and rolled over to go to sleep. I wasn't MAD, just so disappointed.
I then told him that I was going take care of myself, right then and there. Unfortunately (this is the part that is sort of funny) I am so fat and huge, and was laying at an awkward angle, that I couldn't even reach it myself properly. Now I KNOW all of you are thinking "Then how could H reach it?!?" but he was fine; I had just rolled over and was in a very weird pos'n and unable to do the job properly. Too lazy and defeated to roll over (do ya realize how much effort this takes me, LOL) I just went to sleep as well.
His last words to me were: Are you mad at me? I answered honestly and said No, just disappointed.
I feel a little led on. He started with the email suggesting we ML that night, continued with the funny song as soon as he got home, then the kisses right before kids' bedtime, then we get in bed and poof! his desire is gone and he wants to talk about gross childbirth stuff and fall asleep! It is almost funny. Ok, it is funny, but I still need some action and at this point I would take the first offer that came along.
NOT THAT THERE WILL BE MANY OF THOSE!
Oh and one more thing...my H is really concentrating on the "after the baby is here" period and is eagerly looking forward to me being myself again. Now, it will take me about 3 months minimum to start looking like myself again and really feeling like myself. Should I warn H that this is the time frame he can expect? With our first two kids, he was in his "don't admit you like sex and do it only in the middle of the night and every 6 weeks" mode so it wasn't an issue. He is really looking forward to this but it will be a while before I look the same again. Now I know that most men don't care what their wives look like but he obviously does, even though he'd NEVER say it. I feel like I need to issue some warning but then again I know that he'd pooh-pooh this statement and say that he doesn't care--and then he'd not have much to do with me til I lost the weight. I know this is my controlling nature coming out here...wanting to preemptively strike and put words in his mouth and thoughts in his head (You won't want me for 3 months..that is how long it will take to get the weight off) which is not fair, but I want him to understand that I won't go back to normal for quite some time.
Ok, enough emotional rambling and worrying this morn.
Overall I am in an excellent mood; my children are being complete angels and the weather is mild and breezy, it is payday and I can finally go grocery shopping and my house is clean.
I am so fat and huge, and was laying at an awkward angle, that I couldn't even reach it myself properly. ****************************************************
Are you inventing NEW Kama Sutra positions? Wow, I'm impressed as that book is very detailed on some positions that only contortionists can do.
So here is the position that wouldn't work for all you curious minds out there.
Lay on your side and take one extra large jumbo watermelon and place it underneath your shirt. Make sure that it begins at the crotch area and extends up to the bottom of your breasts. Then place a pillow in between your knees and one underneath your watermelon (so as to support the weight and keep the excess weight from grinding my knee bones into powder).
At that point, threaten to do yourself because your partner is totally uninterested in you. Attempt to reach your hand around the watermelon and the pillows and reach your squeezy bits. I would venture to guess that only those people who are equipped with monkey arms will be able to pull this off successfully.
A simple shift of position would have corrected the problem but I was both chicken to take matters into my own hands (thereby MASSIVELY offending my H) and lazy and defeated, as noted earlier.
Oh well today is a new day and I just had a hot cup of fancy coffee so that will boost my spirits for a few hours.
Wow, with fruit, too? Nummy bits and edibles everywhere today, grape juice/jelly, coffee, chicken, monkey, (a delicacy in some parts of the world) and now watermelons..... so close to lunchtime, too.
Quote: I feel a little led on. He started with the email suggesting we ML that night, continued with the funny song as soon as he got home, then the kisses right before kids' bedtime, then we get in bed and poof! his desire is gone and he wants to talk about gross childbirth stuff and fall asleep! It is almost funny. Ok, it is funny, but I still need some action and at this point I would take the first offer that came along.
That sux. He really should have taken responsibility for the sich at some point. I think he should have at least said "I really do want to ML to you, but I am exhausted. Why don't we set the alarm for an early AM encounter.
Quote: Now I know that most men don't care what their wives look like but he obviously does, even though he'd NEVER say it.
I don't think this is true. I think most, if not all, men care what their wives look like. It's just that they aren't necessarily as reliant on reality or the whole picture to turn them on and they are less likely to be turned off by reality or any specific thing. Some of the HD men on the board have commented on ways in which their wives are not completely attractive, but they still find themselves wanting to have sex with them. The fact that I know this is how many men operate is the reason I was so resistant to believing that my weight was really the issue. Though on one hand I had low self-esteem due to my sich, on the other hand I am not very inclined towards a negative body image so I could see a lot in the mirror that might appeal even when I was heavier.
If you and I are stuck in the rut of believing that we always have to be super-hot in order to turn on our H's, this is not good. We have to believe that we only need to be attractive enough to feel confident about ourselves sexually. Were there men who would have been happy to f*ck me when I was heavier? Sure. Are there men who would be happy to f*ck you 9 mos. pregnant. Of course. I think you should tell your H that not wanting to f*ck you when you are pregnant is ridiculous and he needs to figure out how to get over this hang-up if he wants a happy wife for the next little while. Would you mow the lawn because your H was afraid of whirling blades? Would you wash the dishes because your H doesn't want to get dishpan hands? I think not and I believe that you shouldn't have to MB just because your H has an issue with abdomen girth.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Oh &$#@, I forgot the disclaimer....Do not attempt this at home (or work, Hairy, you sick bastard); only for professional pregnant people, etc. See what happens when you are not thorough..now Hairdog has a Watermelon Issues section in his personnel file.
P.S. H just emailed me that he feels like a 'total loser for being a limp noodle' last night. I have to admit that I don't know how to respond to these types of comments.
I agree that he should take responsibility for the encounter and he usually does that. It is always a promise for the next night which he usually follows through on, though lately these promises have held no real weight with him.
As far as the weight goes, I have a very healthy body image and no hangups on "having" to be thin. I recognize that H is more attentive to me when I am thin and I like being thin, so it is a win win.
He is not turned OFF by me when I am overweight but there is no comparison in his desire level. However, this fits with the rest of his personality and everything having to be exactly right...and the right time of night...etc, in order to really get in touch with his desire.
Will he ever change in this regard? I don't know. He was a LOT better before I got preg so I know it will improve after the babe is born, but will he ever truly get the f*ck over himself? I'm not sure anymore.
But I can probably live with his limited form of desire, as long as there is no further backslide than that.
His latest email said simply, "You are beautiful."
I am stupefied as to how to respond to these things, so I haven't. Wtf am I supposed to say? I don't want to hold a grudge or be resentful and pissy (really I am in a good mood) but at the same time, his words are certainly ringing hollow with me today. I am not in the mood to pump him up or be pumped up myself. Maybe that's the only response necessary.
Quote: His latest email said simply, "You are beautiful." I am stupefied as to how to respond to these things, so I haven't. Wtf am I supposed to say?
"Thank You"?
Honey take the compliment (you are BTW). You and I know it is probably motivated by guilt right now, but that's beside the point. I sure wish my W would look at me like she liked what she saw and occasionally told me that she indeed likes what she sees. Even if it weren't exactly the truth. I haven't heard those words, or any real compliments from her probably since we were married. Closest I get is "did you cum".
--GGB who doesn't care what PM says about other-validation. A little now and again wouldn't hurt.
