Well... as my wise BB friends said to me a while back... post where you want to and we'll keep reading. You're piecing something: your life going forward.
I'm sorry to hear you've had a tough time of things lately. As usual, I stand amazed by your resilience and strength and ability to process it all in such eloquent language.
And thanks so much for supporting/advising me in following my intuition as of late. As usual, it seems my gut was not off the mark. So, why is it again that we sometimes think of NOT listening??
If pimping is on the agenda these days, don't go selling yourself short either... I can tell from way out here on the east coast that you are one phenomenal woman, my friend, the rare kind who is willing to invest her emotional capital. Not to mention the payoff from all that hard work at the gym!
Anyway, good to see you return to the deep waters.
Betsy its good to have you back (very selfish but you fill me full of hope that one day I will reach that place of peace your at.) I am at last enjoying being on my own. I still have moments of complete fear and abandonment but they are becoming far and few between.
I want to commend you on how you handle things. I don't have children (probably a blessing with my sitch) but they way you treat and talk to your children in amazing. I believe communication is so important and I think a lack of communication can be the root of most problems. (H and his family do not talk about anything just skirt the issues - No wonder they are all scr**ed up ) If you are taught not to talk about things and let your feelings eat you up well it can't be good. (a blessing of the BB to be allowed to express your feelings!!)
I'm glad you and Mr W are at a place where you can be true friends because that is something so wonderful. I think this is something we should all ultimately aim for first before we consider going back to our M. Friendship is such an amazing thing and from there who knows (That is my hope )
I hope things go well with D7. You are all in my prayers. Good to have you back
God bless
Always questioning???
Not always sad!!!
Joanne
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Albert Einstein
Hi Betsey - I missed you, and am glad you have decided to stay with us a while longer. I sense a new part of the journey for NG and I, no doubt with the usual dose of trials and tribulations. Has anyone heard from Pen lately?
Ah, Betsey. Good to have you around. Tears rolling down my cheek, I will try to get my brief response on board.
I echo the thoughts of others...I definitely think that you are a pathlighter and I am hopeful that we are able to give you feedback and support that is useful. Maybe just journaling itself can be helpful to you.
What a gift for D10 to be finally able to unburden herself. She has carried that little secret around for too long. And hopefully, though she has discovered that her Dad has feet of clay, he may be able to develop a new relationship with her now and restore some trust and respect. I am certain that seeing that you are strong and are at peace with your choice will help her to forgive him.
LIFE IS TOO REAL SOMETIMES, isn't it?
Glad you are back. Glad you are here for us. BUT NO MARTYRDOM HERE.... Insist on getting back (from us) what you are able to give. Maybe not at the same db level, but certainly we are all able to support one another from wherever we are on our journey.
Hello all! What wonderful words await me this morning!
I have missed you guys too... so know that the feeling is mutual.
I'll try to post an update after I return home from the endoscopy tomorrow as well for all who have expressed an interest in the outcome.
In the meantime, D10 is excited about school starting back up. We got her paperwork all turned in this morning, but what a fiasco that was. I got there early and was second in line when the fire alarm went off. Naturally, they forced us to evacuate while the fire department was dispatched. The firefighters weren't even good looking!
Wouldn't you know I had ice cream in my car to celebrate a colleague's birthday today. It had a happy ending, and D10 is now off to the amusement park with her friends. D7 is home with Mr. Wonderful because we felt it was too chaotic for her to attend with her sister.
Last night I had a fun chat with Merrick, Jennifer and H2H--who called me from Jennifer's cell from the bistro. They were enjoying their wine and the conversation.
In the meantime, my D10 is very interested in the topic of--ahem--sex. Any squeamishness on my part in answering her questions has disappeared because I realize if she is going to be discussing this subject, I'm better off if it's with me.
I just told her dad that the issue of my virginity has come up again, and she actually asked me if I had ever played 7 Minutes in Heaven! She had to explain what it was to me, and seemed a little surprised (to say the least, because her comments were preceded by a derisive snort of disbelief) that I had not done that sort of thing when I was younger. (Not even when I got older )
Fortunately for Mr. Wonderful, she feels this topic is not appropriate to be discussing with him. He said he's prepared if she does ask something that might be along these lines. However, he did tell me that he's never played 7 Minutes in Heaven with another boy....
Ugh! I have a nearly middle schooler! My baby is growing up, and although I really enjoy her company as she matures, I'm not sure if I'm happy with the bigger picture... though as she tells me often, "Mom, you have no choice, so deal with it!"
Okay, time to get to work...
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey, What on earth is Seven Minutes in Heaven and, more to the point, how do I get my H to play?!?
Seriously I am glad she's coming to you with these questions; that says a lot about your R with her. Way to go momma!
One question I had from your original post was this: Can you pinpoint what, exactly, is bothering her so bad about MW? Maybe helping her to clarify her feelings on him can help you guide her through it. Is she just coming to terms with the fact that he is human and has failures that she'd rather not have known about at the tender age of 10? (such as the feet of clay so aptly described by another poster!) Or is she disgusted by his juvenile crud with Gary, et al?
Maybe addressing her specific disappointments will help her through it. Heck sometimes even just the act of pinpointing precisely what is bothering you helps you to formulate a plan on how to deal with it. I know that sometimes I am irritated and don't know why..then figure it out later and know how to proceed. D10 can handle wading through her emotions, I'm sure of it. She sounds like such an insightful and wise little girl. I sure am pulling for her..
Honey, I guess you could tell him that you need his help getting the vacuum cleaner out of the closet (being that you're preggers and all, and all men should consider that being the gentlemanly thing to do) and then you could maul him! I bet you could even defy orders and exceed 7 minutes....
PIB, I was 16 as well, and it was a pretty chaste kiss at that. My next time at bat (I was about 18) was really juicy, but the guy was drunk beyond belief, and after we had a fun makeout session in his VW bug, he opened his door and barfed. Wow, that was not a pretty visual, and thanks to his being a cad, convinced others that I made him sick.
Hey, I know I was late, but you know what they say about Catholic girls....
Getting back to my D10, I know one thing for sure. She is really angry with her dad for his poor choices. She feels a promise to love ALL of us was one he should have honored. Hey, I agree with her.
But some of the waters become a little murky, because some of this stuff has to do with me and my part in the demise. She is really uncomfortable sharing this stuff with me, which is why she asked me to make her a C appointment for after school starts. She's comfy with this lady (who is a child psychologist and warm as well as calm and centered) and has seen her periodically since she was 6 (when we got the Dx on her sister).
Hey I forgot to tell you! Mr. W. is hopping pi$$ed off at Gary! Gary pulled out his golf team for the tournament because he really wants to meet with his fantasy football friends. Needless to say, I was a great friend and validator as he reamed Gary up one side and down the other to me on the phone. D10 was THRILLED to hear about this one!
Let's see, we also discussed condoms and teen pregnancy. I was very direct with her and let her know that there are big consequences for acting out too early with sexual behavior. She then looked at me and said, "What? Who said I want to do anything? I think it's kind of sick, but I just want to know more!"
Ah, we'll be talking more over the next few years, I'm sure. I did tell her what the church teaches about this topic and she was very receptive to the why's behind the sentiment.
I hope we will not be discussing sex toys and prophylactics any time soon... I have enough going on with D7 to keep my mind off that subject for awhile.
Back to the subject of 7 Minutes in Heaven? Mr. W. started to laugh and said, "That's enough time for everything, at least for me!"
Ha ha!
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
) If you are taught not to talk about things and let your feelings eat you up well it can't be good. (a blessing of the BB to be allowed to express your feelings!!)
)
She had to explain what it was to me, and seemed a little surprised (to say the least, because her comments were preceded by a derisive snort of disbelief) that I had not done that sort of thing when I was younger. (Not even when I got older 
