I can only speak for myself here. Nothing too "alpha Male" or overly analytical, just me, ol' Chocolateeyes, telling you how I feel about this issue.
I have four kids. Four kids, a dog, a cat and a bird, and a house that is ALWAYS chaotic and cluttered and messy. It drives me nuts. I do WAY more than most husbands, but my wife really doesn't get the kids to help her and without that, she can't keep up, as it is a lot.
It makes me feel like I don't want to come home, like I can't enjoy a peaceful home as a haven, a respite from my highly stressful job.
And, since I know that this DOESN'T come easy for her, if she WERE to make the extra effort to make it nice and neat daily, I would probably walk on hot coals for her. Clean the garage, slay her dragons, and wash her feet.
I also would "amen" the idea about all I'd REALLY need is one room where things stayed tidy and QUIET.
Realizing I'm sounding like Ward Cleaver, but hey -- you asked,
Thanks for the input :-) It's not that I mind putting in the extra effort...well I did mind the idea at first until I realized the need I wasn't fullfilling for my H. The main thing that's frustrating me right now (although not too much mind you) is that he couldn't/wouldn't tell me....and as I've said previously he may not have even know that a slightly untidy home was making him as uncomfortable as it is. See...I believe I'm a very rational, sensible, logical woman...I don't blow up in a rage if he tells me something unpleasant (sure I may not like it but I am not prone to angry fits of temper)...I'm just frustrated that if he's aware that this makes him uncomfortable that he didn't feel he could talk to me about it. But like I've said...he may not know that.
Now that I'm aware that this is a need of his I can take the steps necessary to make his home environment as pleasant/comfortable/homey as possible...and believe me I intend to do that. Now that I've had my little epiphany as to his needs I don't mind a bit taking the extra effort/time to make sure things are in order....because now I'm not viewing this as I'm having to clean up after everyone....it's that I'm making an extra effort to do something loving for my husband...just to make him happy.
I hope that all makes sense...it sure did in my head
Thanks for the tips! Everyone is being so helpful/supportive. When I first posted about my new approach with my LDH I really thought I was going to be lambasted and have people tell me that I was being a wimp and should stand up for myself. I'm glad to see that this makes as much sense to others as it does to me.
