If you find a way to make the day last 36 hours, would you mind sharing that with me? I'm finding myself in the same overloaded mode that you are... and it's now become a necessity to make the days longer.
Now, look at who has class! Here you were thinking that you could have never pulled off what Triple J did (meeting 5 OM) and you handled that with dignity and class. Somehow, I knew you were selling yourself short.
I was THRILLED to read about your answer to your W about taking an active role in their lives. It was awesome and nipped that segue for her to light into you for making her look bad. I think you've found the ticket here.
In the meantime, just keep on your path. I'll shoot you an e-mail here as soon as I compose one to KAW. My time stretched days are preventing me from keeping on top of everyone and it's driving me bonkers.
Big hugs.
Bets
p.s. Did I tell you that D10 signed up to be an altar server? Woo hoo!
Last edited by Underdog; 09/02/0412:52 PM.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Allright y'all, I'm feeling really good right now--and the "signs" around me were positive tonight.
First, my boss cancelled a late afternoon meeting, so I blew off some late night-GOP events today to go home and take S10 to the Yankee game given that we have not gone to a game alone this year.
And on the night when President Bush was making his acceptance speech a few miles away in MSG with his response to 9/11 being the most important issue to his re-election, the Yanks finished the night with 9 runs on 11 hits. The game ended just in time for us to hear the beginning of his speech on the radio and the rest at home.
I felt no unease speaking with W today. I called her first about taking S10 tonight to get her thoughts given that he was up late last night. And when I was home tonight, I proferred a few thoughts on the Bush speech as naturally as I would have if nothing had come between us. On this, I might have pushed a bit given that she had no response, but I'll back off a bit more tomorrow.
And while I know everyone's politics may be different, while he started slowly, I thought the President gave one of his finest sincere speeches of a vision of what he wants to accomplish and his humble role in the grand scheme of things. When he talked about being awed at meeting the families of those fallen in war and hearing that they were praying for him, that brought tears to my eyes. Whether you agree or disagree with Bush, I do believe he is doing his best to do what is right--and isn't that what all of us on this BB are trying to do? On that note, I couldn't help but feel anyhting but good about things tonight.
Hey Merrick, Been a while since I last checked in ... see you're right on pace with everything. I too like your response to W's inquiry in getting more involved in all aspects of kids routine. Hit the nail right on the head with that one.
Milestone: This is my 1000th post. When I first came on this board and saw folks with posts in the hundreds and thousands, I was amazed. And I wasn't sure if I ever would be one of them, but here I am.
I'll save my broader recap for the one-year BB anniversary, but suffice it to say I've come a long way personally through this past year.
1) I'm no longer dysfunctional at thought of OM; 2) I've allowed God to become my thought stopper and have an emerging R with Christ that is bringing true peace to my heart; 3) I've developed an even better R with all three of my kids and have given them a life that is secure and full of love for them--even if not demonstrable of the two-parent loving home that would be ideal. 4) While I still get pangs of sadness, I can't tell you the last time I've cried. 5) I've developed an extraordinary network of caring friends on this board who have given me a glimpse into the finest nature of mankind and reminded me that people can do wonderful things while pursuing what is right. 6) I think and hope I've had an opportunity to provide comfort and show empathy to others in a way I have never been willing to do before due to my own selfishness. 7) For the most part, I've stopped being defensive around my W and can listen to her sincerely and validate if she'll talk to me in a civil manner. 8) I still have my job!!!
Even with all this, however, not much has changed in W's attitude the past year and she is committed to the D process and continues to believe I'm a stubborn, emotionally bankrupt, cold-hearted meanie who refuses to leave and wants to take her children away from her. Yeah, I know. I gotta change THAT impression!
The real test for me will occur over the next seven months. I am embarking on the formal conversion process to Catholicism by Easter vigil in March while also trying to negotiate or stave off a D filing that my W is more vigorously pursuing. Finding Christ-like love while disputing the value of my law degree and child custody is going to work the Holy Spirit overtime in my own discernment process. Or as my W sees it--my arguing for what I want is how I emotionally abuse her. I guess that is why God created lawyers! Oops. I forgot that I'm one of them; I guess that explains a lot too .
Things have been reasonably calm around here the past week--and I hope it's not just the calm before the storm. I found it interesting this past weekend that when I told W about my RCIA sked, she acted surprised that I was following through and quesitioned why I didn't follow her lead on this issue about three years ago. She said she was desperately seeking a connection with me (making a point to add not that it would have saved our M anyway), but complained that my only answer then was that I was not ready (true--I was not). Like everything else in our M--even something as personal and intimate as finding God, if it's not on her timeline, well then just f*** it! But that's who she is and who I married--and I still love her.
While I'm now more accepting of the outcome I never dreamed of--I really don't see myself losing all faith and hope until the final curtain is drawn.
Be good everyone and thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers, and support.
Congratulations on your 1000th post, and the thoughtful reflections that came with it. You have been a real presence on this board, and many of us have benefited from your wise and compassionate attention to our sometimes desperate situations.
Now back to work: When she questioned your motives, did you validate? Did you tell her that you were following through now because you are ready? that you are ready for many other things in life? that now you see things more clearly than before, that you are making great changes in your life? that you love her?
I know, you're tired of hearing it. But one must see every opportunity to validate, do it, and even if it doesn't save your M, it will make your life easier to live in the long run.
Your post made me laugh (pictured the Holy Spirit working overtime, sweating in a cloud overhead, looking down at you and furiously busy coming to your aid, wood chips flying...).
Merrick, I want to thank you for the empathy you have extended to me and the time you have taken to share your thoughts and viewpoints. You are a generous man and a soaring spirit. I wish you the best in your conversion to Catholicism -- your spiritual growth is inspiring, as is your commitment to your family.
I also have similar feeling as you do. The positive side of my ordeal is that I become a better person than before. I am much closer to my kids than ever. I can empathise more to the suffering of others.
It seems that you are very strong mentally now. May be it is God's way to let you find Him through this trial time. I am sure the Lord will guide you in your faith journey with RCIA.
Keep your patience. I am sure one day your W will wake up and notice your changes. In the mean time, do activities to make you happy and have peace.
Bets
I too like your response to W's inquiry in getting more involved in all aspects of kids routine. Hit the nail right on the head with that one. 
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