O.K., this has nothing to do with anything...yet, I must bring it up.
Did any of you ever watch the "Our Gang" show? (Better known as "The Little Rascals?") Well, if so, do you remember the one when Spanky is doing a show and reciting the whole "Friends, Romans, and Countrymen...lend me your ear" thing? You know, he's holding a trashcan lid and blocking a bunch of spitballs coming his way? Anyhoo, It's all I can think of when I read "Friends, Squatters, and Lurkers..."
Aww, go ahead and throw your spitballs at me. I just wanted to mention this....
Quote: that book on the PAs says distinctly that of all their fears the fear of change is the most troubling to a true PA. So his taking 6 months to react...well that seems like it was just a 'day's worth' of time in his brain and a direct reaction to the biggest PA fear: abandonment, rejection.
What book, gd?
This business about fear of abondonment , and wanting to 'get in there first', and 'punishing' the spouse for stuff, is just what I have been thinking about lately in MY neck of the woods. I had never heard of the term passive/aggressive until a few months ago, but the pattern of H's behaviour seems to fit the bill in many ways. I always thought some of the things he did bizarre, but it figures a little more.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I remember the He Man Woman Hating Club and the "hi sign" which I've taught my S4 and a number of neices and nephews..also my brother and I still use this as a greeting at times?
Oh and my favorite: If you want to get in good with the teacher, this is how you greet her "Hiii ya crabby"..lol...I've also taught this to nieces/nephews and a close friends little girl who greeted the person in line behind them at the grocery store this way.
You know, regarding the PA thing...the more I hear about PA's, the less my husband seems like one now. A few months ago I was convinced he was PA. How weird....wonder if he has changed, or just my perspective!
As for you, TripleJ (because it's required that you be mentioned in any and all posts on Betsey's thread ), the thought of you sitting in front of the TV watching The Little Rascal has absolutely made my day. *chuckle*
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Passive-Agressive, at a guess. But I could be wrong.
Pen, who stems from "Old Europe" and knows naught whatsover about American shows - and has a list of things she needs to do today before permitting herself to sink her teeth into all the juicy posts.
Thanks Pen, We have many of the same BB friends. I just ran across you yesterday when I read Betsey's thread. You had some great advice and I would like to read about your sitch sometime if you could give me the link or just a synopsis. Thank you.
Hey Pam - I was very impressed with your post about feeling to have to reinvent yourself. Thank you so much for sharing. It is very hard. It summarizes very clearly what I believe my WAW feels, amongst other things.
Couple of questions for you, you mentioned you "realized" you could've rebuilt your marriage rather than reinvent yourself, how long did this take and what do you think helped trigger the realization?
Also, did you really want to reinvent everything about yourself? Like all your past dreams, ideals, goals, morals that makeup the core fabric of your being usually doesn't change. Did this change for you and then go back to the original desires once you had your realization? Very curious.
gd - I would like to know the name of the passive aggressive book as well if you still have it.
Hello to everyone else and I hope if you currently have been dealt some lemons, make lemonade.
Hi Growing, nice to meet you! Betsey was kind enough to let me post on the "Friends" thread, so you'll find what I've posted about my sitch on her last thread - here's the link: Pen's posts . If you scroll down a bit, you should find them. *smile*
Pen, covered with scratches from nasty vines with thorns who, in her opinion, have no right to exist
