I had the LDH's T-levels (T1-T3, IIRC) checked last month. he's fine. Quite high, actually.
I've read a couple of times, now, in these boards about men needing a restorative period. Apparently, deeply satisfying sex is often a one time a week thing for men who get it regularly. For women, I read this somewhere, who are getting deeply satisfying sex, they want it more often. So maybe some of you HDH's would be wanting less sex if the sex you got was really cool. Anyway, my LDH says the sex he gets is fantastic, doesn't want any more.
There's a problem, obviously, if I don't have a deeply satisfying experience at the same time he does. Because then I'm all aroused and have to wait another week. And he can go 2-3-4-5 weeks between "deeply satisfying" sexual events and not miss it.
Therefore, he regards my hints/seductive behaviors as requests. After reading this thread (thanks so much all of you), I can now look back and see him calculating. He regards "extra" sex as energetic work, and he simply can't do it all that often. He is clearly turned on by my little attempts at seduction, but unless these are timed at least 5 days to a week apart, I will get NO response at all. It helps to realize that. I've started keeping a calendar and will make far less frequent attempts to sex him up, if you know what I mean. We'll both be happier and I won't feel so much rejection.
The last 24 hours (since I found this bb) have been such a relief. I'm super-emotional, though, because I'd been avoiding thinking about any of this, it was too weird and lonely. Honeypot, I so understand what you're trying to do - my Darling Husband is the greatest man, you couldn't ask for a more loving person, but now that I realize he's having sex with me half of the time or more because he thinks he has to, to make me "happy", I feel really bummed. I'll get over it. And bummed is better than resentful, which is where I was yesterday. Way better.
I was thinking of this the other day as I was fumbling around with the razor and trying to see around my belly (no go, I couldn't see ANYTHING) and looking in the mirror as I did it. Oh it was a mess.
H would absolutely freak out if I spent money on waxing. He would consider that the most frivolous waste of cash, ever. However, his choices are: Help me and pretend you like it; or let someone else do it.
I will probably end up waxing before this is all said and done and I will let you know how I like it!
I am getting a brow wax and haircut sometime this week (luxuries for a sahm, don'tcha know) because I have a high school reunion this weekend. Gotta love that...being 6+ months pregnant. Oh well, I will still look better than most of the women there. H was nervous about me going by myself, lest someone hit on me! LOLOL I had to inform him that big fat pregnant women don't get hit on.
I wonder if he sees the inconsistency in his words and actions..? He doesn't want others to hit on me and yet he would never think to do it himself. I guess he just believes that I should never receive desire from anyone unless it is him, in our bed, at night, under the covers and in a manner that says "I'm really tired but I would love to ML anyway". Hmph!
I don't know where that last rant came from..hormones I guess! I really am in a good mood and have had several pleasant talks with H today.
Sorry, but I can't resist chiming in on this one, ladies: The only "restorative" period I need, is about 45 minutes until I'm ready again! As I get older, that period has grown from about 15 minutes (when I was 17....it was a very good year); to about 30 minutes when I was 25; to the present 45 minutes. And, if I was "drained" twice a day, every day? Would my spirit be sapped? Hell no! I'd have a smile on my face every day, all day! I'd probably be able to go off of Effexor.
Restorative period my A$$.
Hairdog, who, at 42 is like the Energizer bunny, I guess.
I'm sure you will look beautiful and radiant at the reunion. My 30th HS reunion is in Sept. (desperately trying to loose weight ) Waxing is really cool, you don't have to shave in like a month and a half and when it does start to grow back its really soft and smooth. No More Stubble YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!! However, it does hurt for a sec. But it is totally worth it to me. Let me know if you do it and how you like it. Oh, be sure to get some bikini soothing cream, it does help
One other thing, if you do decide to do the waxing thing, be sure to shop around for a good technician. Ask questions like....... about how many brizilian bikini waxings have you done? How long have you been a hair and skin technician? You get the drift. You can't trust just anybody with that part of your body
I have to agree with Hairdog. This isn't a man thing; it's your H. My response to really great sex (I vaguely remember having some of that, oh..., 30 year ago) is to want to do it again.
My H doesn't "need" a restorative period...there are plenty of times when we will have sex every day for weeks in a row. He wants it and feels that sex is better for him, if we do wait. I do try to respect that and not get pushy.
Lately he has REALLY been slacking off in terms of how much sex he wants. I have no idea if it is my figure or the stress or what. Or maybe a combination of both. I will just practice patience and hope for the best. He did ask me the other night if I was looking forward to not having a belly in my way while we are having sex. Duh!, of course I am.
And then there is the issue of stress: It is a confusing thing because on one hand, the stress really DOES affect his libido. On the other hand, the lack of sexual release makes him more stressed and, in turn, contributes to his feeling of being stressed out. Meaning, although he is resistant to the idea of sex because he's feeling overwhelmed, he almost ALWAYS feels tons better after we ML. So do I push because I "know better" what he needs, or do I let him just chill for a while in order to deal with the stress in the best way that he knows how? I am choosing the latter, with some "mama knows best" incidents thrown in for good measure.
Annette, Thanks for the info! I am REALLY intrigued now! Which parts, exactly, do you get waxed? The full monty, or what?
I have a pretty high pain tolerance so the pain, while I'm sure it hurts like the dickens, does not scare me all that much. I have already birthed a nine pound baby with no drugs whatsoever, so I say BRING IT ON, wax lady!
Sometimes I leave a little strip up top, or get my wax lady to do something like a heart for fun, but usually the whole thing. I also have a high tolerence for pain, but the first time I was really sore for about 2 days. (the bikini cream really helps alot) The subsiquent times were a piece of cake The funny part was a girlfriend talked me into making an appointment with her cause she was scared to go alone, and she ended up stopping with just a plain bikini waxing. I was the one that went the whole 9 yards and keep going back. GF has never gone back
Annette -- who sometimes leaves a landing strip, hmmmmm don't know why, nothing much ever lands there
sorry couldn't resist
) Waxing is really cool, you don't have to shave in like a month and a half and when it does start to grow back its really soft and smooth. No More Stubble YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!! However, it does hurt for a sec. But it is totally worth it to me. Let me know if you do it and how you like it. Oh, be sure to get some bikini soothing cream, it does help 
