Couldn't get your link to work yesterday so tried it now to peek at the four houses and it worked.
Have to say that I like the brick one as well. It doesn't have the old-fashioned charm of the others, but much less maintenance too. Of the others I like #4 the best. I wish they would have posted internal photos - that was a great job on whoever took the shots of the brick place.
Brick would hold up in those wild storms that have hit lately too. Nice and sturdy. I guess the drawback on #4 is that it only had 2 BR and you probably need one for the kids and another to use as an office.
So maybe brick will win out after your visit tomorrow. What fun!
I'll be thinking of and praying for you. Enjoy the adventure.
Regarding David not letting the kids out - yes maybe he should have, but also remember you don't want him wandering about your home either. So he can't really win for trying on this one. If he let them out, you might think that he looked around the place too - but because he didn't, you are upset because he didn't wander. (Just putting another perspective on it for ya! )
Be glad that he tried fixing your computer and say thank you. Then you might add that if he is there and the kids hear him that you would appreciate him letting them out because otherwise they get excited and have an accident. How would that work for you? Then you can't worry about what else he might do while at the house okay? It is up to you to decide....
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
On #4 it just came on the market. My realtor is the listing agent and she hadn't had a chance to go in and take photo's. She said she is planning too. Of course she is hoping I buy it I'm sure.
I am leaning towards the brick house. For one thing it will be more comparable to the age of the house I am living in now so probably more similarities. The others all have features that I do like better, but just thinking maybe in the overall scheme the brick one might suit best.
Sort of excited and sort of scared this morning!
On David I am pretty sure he does wander around because he still has stuff in all of the rooms. I did pretty well yesterday dropping the rope. I mean I knew ahead of time he would probably be here, debated taking the day off and didn't went to work. Spoke with him before noon on my computer and managed to stay at work and work till 3:00. I get off at 4:00 on Fridays. I got another lady to cover for me and I split. Was starting to really stress.
He was gone when I got home. I did sort of expect that though. I left him vm asking him to call me and he did. I shared that Shimmer had a problem and would he please walk them from now on? He said he had meant to walk them as soon as he had my case closed up, but got paged from work and so he ran out of here in a hurry.
I did thank him for fixing my computer.
I seem to do pretty well until days he is at the house and then my emotions seem to get really stirred up.
Came home and was stressed and depressed last night. Watched part of a race I have borrowed from my boss, then decided I really wanted to escape so switched to reading a book. Pretty much did that and eat all evening. THAT is bad, when stressed I tend to eat. If really upset then I can't eat, so that is a way for me to know I guess how stressed I am.
I really think it will be easier on me to go ahead and be out of the house. I had actually thought all along it would be easier to stay in the house but I think I wasn't wanting to deal with finding a house and moving, plus I think I was probably planning to just hole up here and stop living.
So all in all I believe moving may be best. Not going to find or I should say be able to afford anything I like as well as this place but maybe doing the adjusting will keep my mind occupied!
I'll post what I did later today. Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
It seemed sort of appropriate as several of my threads contained that in the name and Kitti gave me that nickname.
Even the realtor said that is a nice address for a new start in life.
My mom called a bit ago and I told her had put an offer in on a house and she asked where, I knew she wouldn't like it.
She didn't. She said so you stayed looking in town then? I said yes I didn't want to have to get way out and drive a long ways to work in the winter. Especially as Jan. through April I will probably be working two jobs!
My mom has never worked full time. She was a stay at home mom and yes, I like where I am at now. Sort of country but close to town. But houses in this area I can't afford.
To get what I could afford I would have had to go quit a ways out.
I just HATE feeling always wrong, not good enough, judged. This really drives home for me that I have always felt that from her. Not a pleasant thing to realize that I possibly conveyed the SAME feelings to David during our marriage. I am not consciously aware that I did that, but from some of what he has said I am guessing even if not as directly as she does I must have conveyed those impressions.
So I have an offer on a house and hope my mom doesn't make my dad back out of the offer of the loan for the down payment because she doesn't like where I chose to live.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Pam - What doesn't she like about where the house is?
I have been reading your thread & think it is great you are buying a house. I bought my own house after my 1st divorce & it was the best thing I ever did. It is small, but enough for me to take care of. I wanted something to keep me busy & I like having flowers, garden, etc. My parents wanted me to get a condo at the time because of maintanace issues but the ones I could afford seemed too much like apartments to me.
There are times that it gets overwhelming to have your own house but I found that alot of people are willing to help me w/ things if I just ask - guys at work, etc.
I think you should be very proud of yourself. As long a you feel it is safe for you to live in that area alone, I wouldn't worry about what she thinks. I feel safer with houses & neighbors close buy since I am by myself. I would love a bigger place more in the country but it would be hard to maintain alone & I just can't afford it. You want to be able to have a life to, especially after what you have been thru. You may not care to socialize much right now but you will, & hopefully I will again to.
THANK YOU for the encouragement. I was feeling sort of down is why I hadn't posted before now.
WHY can my mom still make me feel like I can do nothing right????
The house is in a subdivision. There is no getting around that fact. But when I was going through my first divorce, just having my own apartment was nice and the fact that I didn't have to do any maintenance.
This house is all brick, looks well maintained, freshly painted. So I can start out without having a lot to do.
Where I live now is a LOT of maintenance. The barn, board fencing, picnic shelter and 2 acres which is an arena and 3 separate pastures with board fencing. Which is beautiful when maintained. Like as in kept in repair and painted!!!
But it is too much for one person.
My mom has always lived in the country and I know that is why I am concerned about moving to town and having neighbors is the feelings I grew up with her having.
She used to almost never go to my dad's family get togethers so my whole life I have struggled with large family get togethers of my husbands.
I know it is time to break free and be my own person, but right now I feel pretty vulnerable.
Oh yes the new house, if I get it, does have a security system, I mean besides the shelties!!!
You are exactly right, I do see the day when I will want to start doing things again.
My whole life to this point has been spent in the country maintaining the horses and property.
It is time for a new stage of my life and no I haven't got there yet, but I think it is out there for me as soon as I figure out how to get there!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
It is too bad she reacts like that. Especially when she knows what you really want (& what she thinks you should have), you just can't have or afford right now. I think my parents where diappointed when I got my house but it is fine now - I would hope since it has been 8 years !
I still felt bad whenever I had a problem w/ the house & had to turn to them for advice, etc. I felt like they were thinking "I told you so". But, I got past that & it was really nice to have something that is all yours. When i moved here after 1st D, I had never lived on my own - went from parents to college w/ roommates, home again & then lived w/ 1st H. So, I cried myself to sleep a few nights at 1st but I got thru.
Kind of funny though - I am trying to be positive & offer you encouragement but am not following my own advice in my situation! Oh well it is easier to see things logically from the outside sometime.
I think that you will find that at this point in your life, it is nice to have neighbors, go for walks around the block, meet people etc. There are some evenings in the summer when I sit outside talking to neighbors most of the evening. It really can be nice.
)
but I'm hoping the class will be interesting!
