Well, I am back from counseling. H started off by saying that he felt these past 2 weeks have been the best we have gotten along in a long time; he said he felt less pressure from me and that I was less "needy", and that he could respond better to me. The therapist commented that "needy" isn't a bad thing, that there were positives to having needs, and that the word "needy" has a bad connotation. I said I felt less anxious/upset about discussing my needs, and that it's the presentation of those needs that pushed him away. I didn't push to discuss any more of my needs in the session, but I realize now that I have to stay with the PM approach...self-soothe, and be firm in what it is that I want, without becoming an emotional wreck. I feel I am on the right path. J
Oh, on the way to therapy I was making small talk with H and mentioned a friend of mine who is very nervous about sending her daughter to camp. H says, " I bet she spends all her time worrying about the kids, and meanwhile her marriage is falling apart." I left it alone. J
J, His comment made me smile! He is really coming around to momma's way of thinkin isn't he!
I am so happy for you. And I totally agree that I am so much more appealing when I am strong and definitive (yet standing my ground as far as what I want) instead of weepy and constantly seeking reassurance of my sexiness/lovability.
You have really made some progress FAST; it is amazing and so awesome to see. I wish I had had more of your self soothing abilities; it has literally taken me years to be able to develop this skill. You rock!
Glad it went well, now go and celebrate tonight and you know I don't mean by opening a bottle of wine or something boring like that.
I don't know which is worse...having my naked body rubbing on his limp d*ck, or having my naked body rubbing on his hard d*ck, with no subsequent interest from his end!
Oh well, as I said earlier I am really and truly learning to enjoy the finer points of a soft d*ck in my hands. There was a time when it drove me nuts but I can honestly say that I enjoy it now. That's progress I suppose. Still it's hard being a sexy mama and no one there to give me a standing ovation, if ya catch my drift..
We finally sold a vehicle today that we have had for sale for many months and I am elated. I feel myself getting hornier by the minute. It used to be that H would look at me quizzically and wonder why on earth good news would make me horny but he has shifted his views on a lot of things. I'll let you know if this is one of them. I want to celebrate tonight!
I only hope Journey had better luck than us two losers.
I could tell early on that there was a good possibility that nothing would happen. You know, I find it so funny that anything out of the ordinary (even GOOD news!) can occupy his mind to such an extent that even a pleasurable activity is out of the question. This is a baffling way to live your life, to me. BUT I have accepted that this is how he is and I certainly knew to expect it.
I showered and shaved before bedtime and then laid naked on the bed, under the ceiling fan, waiting for him. The previous night he had told me "I love seeing you naked; I'd rather see you naked than clothed" so I thought I'd go with that (new to me) info. I guess it's only true on nights when he WANTS to see me naked. So now I need to brush up on my mind reading skills!
Ah well, it was a nice night anyway. We snuggled a bit in bed, although there was NO close contact lest I get the wrong impression about his intent, and we drifted off to sleep. Well he did. lol
Tonight we meet the buyer of his vehicle at the bank and transfer it over. Then his mind will be totally occupado with buying a new vehicle and so tonight will be a bust too.
I have to tell ya: I just don't GET this notion of waiting til the rest of your life slows down to have sex. I mean, isn't that going to be a loooooooong wait? How many people do you know who are retired and carefree at 37?!
So, I am no longer in the mood to celebrate. But I am still in a happy mood.
Your wife........man.
What is she thinkin.
"Alright, go to bed." THAT is a way to speak to a grown man?? Like a child whose hand is in the candy jar....
Pretty sour candy if you ask me!
Hey what about this: Next time she says Alright go to bed, why don't you counter with "Ok, what night will it be okay to do this?"
Quote: Hey what about this: Next time she says Alright go to bed, why don't you counter with "Ok, what night will it be okay to do this?" What do you think she would say?
Well, now we're not supposed to base our actions on what we think their reactions will be, right? Isn't that basic PM stuff? ahem, but since you asked, I think she'd likely say "with that kind of attitude, NEVER." And that assumes, of course, that I didn't ask the question with any sort of "attitude."
As far as her treating me like a child, I mentioned that to her when she berated me last night for not hanging up a hand towel properly in the bathroom (did I mention she was kind of anal about things?). I said, "please don't lecture me like I'm a child." She answered, "I will until you stop acting like one." I was so mad I stomped my feet and held my breath until I turned blue. No, really I just kind of threw my hands up and left the room. There is no sense talking to her sometimes. She was definitely in a mood last night.
, so will not be getting any action in the near future. 