I did like your observation about having cleaning, wash, etc. to do, instead of ML. As part of my decision to go "celibate", I remember one day, I was home with my bride. The kids were at school, no one was expected to disturb us. After a long hug and kiss, standing there with an erection, anticipating making love, my wife sat down to read a book on "Dog Breeding". You see, our purebred Golden Retriever was "coming into heat" and that was just more important.Does that seem LD?? Leaving your partner with an erection/desire to make love to you. I can say now, the erections still happen, but not with fantasies about my wife. I know that raising children is very demanding. Lord knows, I think being a mother is the toughest job around. Husbands should be very helpful, sharing responsibilities and providing break time for the mother. I did all that. Think how hard it will be , as a divorced mother. Some attempt to meet your partners needs is critical to a marriage. Why some people don't "get it", I just don't know.
Hang in there, it can only get better, worse or it might stay the same.
Quote: Most LDWs are not as motivated as Journey and other LDs here and will be resentful of efforts to "push" them into something they don't feel like doing (or fixing).
While I would like to think of myself as a saintly LD, the reality is that it took a great deal of "emotional hardball" from H to get me motivated. I am now dealing with his anger/resentment/withholding which is the irony, and I don't know what the outcome will be. Journey
Sorry you're here and I completely relate to your 3 terrible unattractive options.
I would take comfort in the fact that you once had a great sex life in your R. Somehow that makes it seem an attainable goal again, but maybe that's just me looking at greener grass beyond the fence.
I highly recommend PM. It has made no difference in my M except in me. That, however, is worth everything. It's helped me be stronger in every way, including my resistance to cheat.
You'll continue to find good advice here and a lot of foolishness, too. (I'm in charge of the foolish part, others give the good advice.) You'll find sexual attitudes expressed by many women here that you'll wish your W shared. (That part makes me crazy!)
Good luck! I truly hope you find the way back to the kind of M that you once had and still need.
Quote: You'll find sexual attitudes expressed by many women here that you'll wish your W shared. (That part makes me crazy!)
What makes you think that it is just the opinions of us women on this site that mke us all crazy? IF my H ad 1/20th of the desire that I have seen described by the fellas on this forum in explicit detail, which breaks my heart, I might have stood a chance. Basically it just shows me how shallow my marriage has been for so many years.
Thsi froum has been much more foolish in the past, but you GUYS have made it very serious. I miss the fun. I need that to make it through the day.
I hear what you're saying about the guys' attitude toward sex having the same affect on you as the gals' on me. (Ooooh, I liked typing that..."the gals' on me"!)
I accept it because I believe you're being honest, but I really can't imagine a woman wanting sex as much as I do. It's too hard for me to put aside my (lack of) personal experience with that one.
As far as it being serious, I hold back SOOOOO much of the time. I usually choose not to post rather than make the jokes (usually sexually suggestive) that I think of when I read what others write. I figure most here think I'm immature anyway, why prove to them they're right?
I hope you had a great weekend. And thanks for your post clarifying your intent when questioning my Barney Fife manhood. (BTW, the name change was because I needed to withdraw under the covers a bit after revealing my life in another thread. The names that painted the most accurate pic of me were Barney Fife and Forrest Gump. Forrest got the girl so that didn't fit, so I was left with the one bullet in his pocket guy.)
Please do not think that I have not fought tooth and nail for my marriage which I have done. Most of you have at least SEMI receptive spouses. Mine could really care less and it really has been rough to deal with.
Wow, good replies all around. That's why I like this place. CelibateDad, I especially liked your "Dog Breeding" story. Sometime for fun around here, we should play a game of "My Spouse has more Ridiculous Excuses than Your Spouse." We could make a big list of all the things we've heard for sex-avoidance. I'm not bragging or anything, but I think I might win this game. My wife has a dizzying array of excuses. I've heard them all.... back aches, stomach aches, headaches, ear aches, foot aches, knee aches, elbow aches, boob aches. Sometimes she's just too tired. Sometimes it was a really long day. Sometimes something good is on TV. Sometimes it's too hot. Sometimes it's too cold. Sometimes she has to get up early. Sometimes she has to prepare tomorrow's dinner. Sometimes the house is too messy. And of course, sometimes she just doesn't feel like it.
Yadda, yadda, yadda. You get the idea. We don't have a dog, but if we did, rest assured it would be a more than adequate excuse not to have sex with me.
