I think I actually had a bit of a breakthrough last night. We didn't ML, but we did have a very fruitful conversation. My H and I were talking about the previous evening...when for the 1st time in our marriage he let me give him a massage after working outside. I knew he was exhausted and I'm only short taking the test to be a licensed massage therapist. I never understood before why he never took me up on my offers...I'm pretty sure that he equated it to me wanting sex...which was an assumption on his part, but an assumption caused by his previous experiences nonetheless. Naturally I could make it a very sexual experience for him, but at this piont the objective was pain relief and relaxation for him. Anyway, I digress...he told me he felt really ridiculous that he'd never taken me up on that before and that led to a conversation on my wanting him to tell me what he wanted "sexually speaking" when we would ML. I impressed on him (yet again) that I would love for him to be able to tell me what he would like me to do and that I needed to work on doing that myself...once again I got his standard "I always like what you do"...this is of course no help to me. So I explained..."I appreciate that, but there's got to be something in particular you'd like for me to do over other things that I do for you"....once again I got the "I don't know.... I don't know what I want ." For some reason at this point it dawned on me (or should I say...the anvil dropped on my head this time ) He thought I was asking him to be creative and tell me things he'd like that we'd never done before...so I asked "do you think I want you to make up something? Be creative?" I know him well enough to know that asking him to be creative at this point would be nearly impossible...I could tell by the look on his face I'd hit the nail on the head, that's exactly what he thought I wanted. When I explalined that I really didn't want him to pull something new out of a hat that we'd never done before, but that I wanted him to let me know what I've done in the past that he's really liked he relaxed almost instantly...and just said "oh, ok!" Like...Oh, well I can do that! And then proceeded to let me know what areas in particular he liked rubbed during a massage. I'm going to have to pay much closer attention during our conversations...I'm obviously speaking Venutian to him at times LOL
Why has this never dawned on me before?
Sorry guys...it took me a lot of words to get that little scenario out.
) He thought I was asking him to be creative and tell me things he'd like that we'd never done before...so I asked "do you think I want you to make up something? Be creative?" I know him well enough to know that asking him to be creative at this point would be nearly impossible...I could tell by the look on his face I'd hit the nail on the head, that's exactly what he thought I wanted. When I explalined that I really didn't want him to pull something new out of a hat that we'd never done before, but that I wanted him to let me know what I've done in the past that he's really liked he relaxed almost instantly...and just said "oh, ok!" Like...Oh, well I can do that! And then proceeded to let me know what areas in particular he liked rubbed during a massage. I'm going to have to pay much closer attention during our conversations...I'm obviously speaking Venutian to him at times LOL
