I am sorry about your TA. I do believe kids should be told..I had a relative who committed suicide, and all of the kids of our extended family went to the memorial service. It wasn't whitewashed at all. Maybe it's a good lesson for the kids in what NOT to do in the future as well. And the kids need to grieve also. I don't know that death hits kids nearly as hard as adults, at least for me...I think I ws 12 or 13 by the time I could really grasp it. Though some sensational stories in the paper (I recall one where a girl was murdered not far from where I lived, that happened when I was about 5) stuck with me a long time.
Betsey - you do amaze me. You do so much, care even more, and keep so incredibly busy! Time for me to get away from the computer and do something! (Besides the dust bunnies floating around the apt. are mocking me ). Hugs, -H2H
Hi Bets, The news of your D7's TA is truely a tragic loss. In rememberance, one option might be to have a memorial printed in the paper, simply stating that she will be missed but not forgotten for all in the area to see.
Well I'm a little late with this, but I didn't get a chance to respond on the previous thread before it was locked out ...
Holy Smokes! ... since when is be neighborly a passive aggressive act!! I do have my neighor's lawn everytime I mow. Granted he has been deceased for the last year, but before then, when he would mow, he would continue into my adjecent yard right up to my house. The next time if I got out there first I would mow right up to his house. It does seem the sense of community is an endangered means when lending a hand is considered offensive.
... and to end this post of a sweet/positve note, which chocolate? if its sweet ... its all goooood!
Hi Betsey - I'm sad to hear of the way the TA left this world. One of my neighbours did the same 6 years ago, and in her memory we planted a magnolia tree in front of her house. We wanted a living reminder of her, and every spring, when the tree blossoms and fills our courtyard with heavenly scent, we pause to remember Sandra. Slowly
Thanks for the great ideas! I was in a real funk yesterday and I know it showed. I got home, fixed myself a little something to eat and then crashed on the sofa. Mr. Wonderful and the girls were out front--he left much later than usual. I appreciated it because I was exhausted.
About 10 minutes after he left, the phone rang. D10 answered it and said it was him, wanting to talk to me. He apologized for not cleaning up the kitchen for me before leaving. I really don't expect that and I told him that I didn't but thanked him for being so thoughtful.
He cleared his throat and said, "Um, Bets, you seem really down today. Bad day at work?" I answered, "No, just a bad day. Period." His reply, "Want to talk about it?" Mine, "No, thanks." I let him know that D10 had pulled out a pad of paper and decided to play shrink with me, asking me what was ailing me (while watching West Wing). He chuckled and signed off.
I was pretty grumpy and asked her if we could do this another day and she piped up with a smile, "I promise to shred the paper after we talk." Jeez, a salesperson lives with me. I identified the 10 things that bothered me and was VERY surprised when she told me she had some suggestions for me.
I was even MORE surprised at her acuity and insight. Nearly all of them were circumstances out of my control, and she told me that. She also gave me some really helpful suggestions (that I had already considered and decided were the only answers); then she leaned over, gave me a big hug and a kiss and exclaimed, "Mom, I love you so much. I will pray for you tonight and we should pray about everything on your list. Now go clean up the kitchen and I'll check on D7."
Where did this kid come from???
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
these are the type things that should make you proud. this came from you and all your efforts to be a good parent, and it's showing in her - awesome betz
i am so sorry about the pain you have had over the death of a friend. until you live thru something like that you can not even possibly know what it's like - kudo's to you for giving a rememberence to her death
and mr wonderful??? i think the alien mothership is leaving him alone recently - wow - he cares betz, it's showing - he is showing it - looks like he is turning around!!!
Your daughter is amazing and IS learning from her Mom (and I'll bet a little bit from Dad when you are not around). I have to say that this was one of the most rewarding posts I have ever seen on this BB. To see that kind of love and an insight from a child is enough to make my whole day. Be well.
).
I do have my neighor's lawn everytime I mow. Granted he has been deceased for the last year, but before then, when he would mow, he would continue into my adjecent yard right up to my house. The next time if I got out there first I would mow right up to his house. It does seem the sense of community is an endangered means when lending a hand is considered offensive.
I really don't expect that and I told him that I didn't but thanked him for being so thoughtful.
Betsey 