Rock, when W moved out I couldn’t deal with her attitude about our situation. She moved out based my ultimatum- end the it with om or leave. She left. She then proceeded to come to the house almost everyday after work like things were normal. She would wash dishes or laundry. Made dinner. It was so hard for me and awkward. I finally told her that she didn’t get to chose om over us and just drop in like everything was cool. She got very angry Told me it was her home and i couldn’t stop her from seeing her children. kind of ironic since she left her children. I agreed with both things and said I would never stop her from seeing her kids. What I told her I would stop her from doing was seeing me. You chose him. If you are coming to see the kids, great. Text me so I can leave. Also stop with the laundry and dishes unless you are doing your laundry. She seemed hurt by that. I didn’t feel great about it however, I wanted her to suffer the consequences of her actions. All this to say, stop the cake eating. It about broke my heart to tell her I didn’t want her to just drop in and see us. It felt wrong. It also felt somewhat empowering. Just my two cents.