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When my first post-divorce Love Avoidant boyfriend was not stepping up to the plate, I kept an index card with a mantra tucked into the visor of my car: “He’s just not that into you”. It was surprisingly helpful!

CMM taught me what it was like to be with a man who was really into me, wanted to be with me, and wanted to be in a relationship with me. You’re right to want that.

I didn’t do it yet. It was just a nice weekend with my kid , I didn’t want to be sad or bring it down. We haven’t really spoken. Exchanged some texts during the hockey game yesterday. We watch the games together, Nothing today, I knew he had an engagement and I was just busy with the kid and having fun. We did our annual Christmas fudge making / gingerbread house building bedroom decorating day with D’s BFF. The two of them are Christmas obsessed and I’ve been hosting this for years. I love them. I posted a pic on IG and he instantly “liked” it, but otherwise, I haven’t heard from him today and I just don’t even have that desire to reach out . I feel defeated in that area. I’m pretty sure i have lost interest too. He’s going to the game on Tuesday….. D BEGGED me to go this Tuesday. I told her only if I could get free tickets through my first responder website. And well, I’ll be darned, they had a bunch that went available today. We got center ice tickets for a total of $15 transfer fee. Hockey guy has club seats, will likely not run into him. He doesn’t even know I’m going.

I have been looking up the news story of my coworker. It’s national news. He was shot in his car on campus. My heart is just breaking for her and her husband. He just transferred to this college this year from a different one in hopes of playing football.

We can donate PTO at work and I am going to see if I can get up a collection so she can be out without pay as long as possible. I wish there was more I could do.

Ginger, sounds like you are handling things well..
Very sorry about your co worker child. I cant imagine what I would do if one of my kids/grands were to pass like that, or any way. You are not supposed to bury your kids.

Thanks everyone. My employee called me this morning… she told me the story, it’s a big investigation and the suspect is in jail without parole: the suspect was his college roommate. Mom is feeling guilt, anger, peace, and every emotion you could imagine. We are going to do everything we can to support her.

Today I had an appointment with my metabolic specialist, 10 weeks since I’ve been on this medication. First time she saw me in person since my first 2 appointments in 2021( we did virtual) in the beginning, I told her what was goal was and she gave me an extra 20 lbs to lose on top of that according to the number on the scale and my BMI.

Well, today, she said “I was wrong. Anyone would see you and ask why are you even here, you look amazing! I am adjusting your goal to the one you set. Your BMI and your scale weight is not an accurate reflection of what you look like”
She was proud of my weight loss and activity. It felt good to be validated off the scale. I know my number does not correlate to my size. I wear 2-3 sizes smaller than most with my BMI. My lean muscle mass has been measured and it’s much higher than average. But the number gets stuck in your head. I’m happy with how the appointment went, with how I look and feel.

We went to the game tonight and we had a 3-0 shutout. Seats were great. I did meet up with hockey guy in between period. He had the club seat section and grabbed treats for D. Anyways. No, I didn’t do it yet. I didn’t say anything and he apologized and said he’s really not trying to be a dick ( my big issue is his lack
Of effort in spending time together) and he made plans for Sunday. We shall see. I’m still on the fence. I have come so close multiple times to breaking this off. I’m weak, I guess. And I happen to be much weaker this time of year.

I look forward to my 2 Christmas parties this week. Thursday and Saturday. Should be a blast. And neither of them are for my current job, lol.

MY GAL has been strong. Almost too strong. I’m happy to have Friday off. I need to relax and catch up. Which is why I wont party too hard. I can’t afford to lose a day to a hangover.

Congratulations on your goal! I'm sure you were very proud of all that you have accomplished. All that matters is how you look and feel about yourself.

Enjoy your Christmas parties. Who knows? You just might meet someone interesting at one of them.

Well, I finally ended it. Cancelled on me yet again and I am done. We basically had the same convo. Has feelings for me, cares about me, blah blah blah, sees it going down the relationship path and he can’t blah blah blah. He wanted to keep in contact and I said no.

Rough December, lol.

And job, yes! I am off to Christmas party #1! No one there to meet, but Saturday’s I will actually only know like 6 people and the rest are new, so who knows that’s in store?

I cried a little, but I’m wiping away the tears because I’m about to have some serious fun .

Thnx for keeping us in the loop. You are taking this very well, and are a very strong lady.. HooYah.

Ginger I’m truly sorry as I know it hurts - not in a broken-hearted way, just in a someone fun to do things with way. But I can’t help but believe you were being used - and you know what for. I’m clear I’m not looking for marriage or even a live-in GF (though I’d be fine committing to the right woman and only seeing her) but even in the more casual sitchs I look forward to and want to see her. He wants to see you but only when nothing else gets in the way or he has needs to fulfill. Yeah, it’s not a “you awake” text at midnight but the end result was the same. I thing he is torn but he’s not even admitting it to himself. He’s just trying to get out of this what he wants without compromising for anything you want. You’re better than that and you deserve better than that.

Thanks Mach. I’ve learned in life to take situations and news that might make me feel bad and put them aside so I can go on and enjoy life and have fun. Not much has taken me “out” I’m one of those high functioning you would never even know I was having the feelings I am having types of people. Is it healthy? I dunno. That’s why I mentioned on B’s post that I allow my daughter to see me sad and vulnerable. I don’t want her to have to think she should be going through life strong as a rock and her mom has no feelings.

Don- thanks. I’m not heartbroken. But I am sad. Truth is, he doesn’t have this stuff figured out. How to even make the casual thing work. And I realized yesterday he’s a “Mr. Nice guy” he said he hates upsetting people….. but he doesn’t realize by trying to not upsetting people, he upsets people, lol. This one is harder because he isn’t a malicious person. I don’t even think he realized he was “using” me. And when I pointed out how his actions made me feel that way, he seemed genuinely unaware, and was like “wow, I’m sorry” and no, he doesn’t want to let go totally, but I have to. I was feeling pathetic, quite honestly. And I told him as much. And I can’t be around anyone who would cause me to feel that way about myself.

I had fun at my party last night. I got a lot of compliments on my weight loss. Everyone said I look “skinny” ( skinny and me don’t belong in the same sentence, lol). I actually think I looked hot last night. It WAS difficult when nearly everyone asked me if I had a man in my life. The timing do the question stunk, and like usual, the answer is “nope”

I’m not closed off to dating, but I will not enter the online world again for a long long time. I can’t begin to tell you how much worse it is now than even 2 years ago. COVID changed the landscape of how people act behind a screen. It’s nauseating. So if I meet a guy out there on the wil who isn’t married , I’ll see. But for now, it’s me, the kid, the dog , the friends, the job

Forgive me but wasn't that an opportunity to say, "Nope - but I'm open to meeting someone if you have a great guy in mind" ?????