Sorry about the OM. I know that's an awful feeling. Unfortunately that's the case more often than not around here. Like SteveLW mention, as soon as I read your Part 1 post it screamed OM.
How old are you and your W? So you stayed in the house and she moved out? Where is she, an apartment? How's your 12yo doing?
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
She moved out with a lighting speed, I think it’s an apartment. We are both going to be 41 soon. Kid is bad I can feel it, but kid has the best dad. We like spending time together, now it’s more then usual. Mum is busy “hanging out with friends”
She moved out with a lighting speed, I think it’s an apartment. We are both going to be 41 soon. Kid is bad I can feel it, but kid has the best dad. We like spending time together, now it’s more then usual. Mum is busy “hanging out with friends”
Love it. That is a great attitude! Be that best dad and you both will be fine. Her on the other hand, she'll look back with a lot of regrets one day.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
It’s a strange feeling after all the horrible things she’ve done I still love her. Would I want to reconcile YES but my L is saying that all this crazy rush is because she wants to get married and/or pregnant.
She only knew this guy for less then a month tops before D me came up. She is in complete denial about start of the affair, even when both of them in the same group of people they pretend as if they don’t know each other.
I don’t know if I could do anything to change things around?
I did limit all communications with her, other then a kid and divorce related. Working on myself, gym, learning how to be a nice guy, Zeroed out all bad habits - still working on cutting all Tv out lol
Kid is bad I can feel it, but kid has the best dad. We like spending time together, now it’s more then usual.
That's awesome. Keeping crushing it as a dad. Your kid will know what's up, and appreciate it.
Originally Posted by Jq25
It’s a strange feeling after all the horrible things she’ve done I still love her.
Many of us understand that initial feeling, but trust me you'll think about it much differently as time moves on. My guess is the anger hasn't really hit yet. And it will. You'll know it when it does.
Originally Posted by Jq25
my L is saying that all this crazy rush is because she wants to get married and/or pregnant.
Listen to the advice my L gave. Leverage her desire to escape quick to a favorable divorce result. I'm sure your world is spinning and you want to hang on and not lose your family, but if she's ready to give away the bank to "get out"...let her do it. The longer it takes the more she'll wise up and potentially get into nasty negotiations. The best deals typically present themselves up front.
Originally Posted by Jq25
She only knew this guy for less then a month tops before D me came up. She is in complete denial about start of the affair, even when both of them in the same group of people they pretend as if they don’t know each other.
She'll likely in for a rude awakening, but that's not your problem anymore. She can only learn that lesson for herself. Do you know anything about the guy (married, kids...etc.)?
Originally Posted by Jq25
I did limit all communications with her, other then a kid and divorce related.
Good.
Originally Posted by Jq25
Working on myself, gym
Great you're in the gym. Keep it up. Make sure it's regular and you don't fall off. You're going to be looking/feeling pretty good about yourself if you do.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Jq, you've mentioned a couple of times about becoming a nice guy. What do you mean by that?
It means treat your spouse as a boss. It seems like a trend these days women like more feminine type guys. Friend of mine left her “@ss h0le - H” for sweet nice guy.
[quote=BL42] She'll likely in for a rude awakening, but that's not your problem anymore. She can only learn that lesson for herself. Do you know anything about the guy (married, kids...etc.)? .
I know he is similar age, single, no kids, has Online Business ether traveling or staying home.
Jq, you've mentioned a couple of times about becoming a nice guy. What do you mean by that?
It means treat your spouse as a boss. It seems like a trend these days women like more feminine type guys. Friend of mine left her “@ss h0le - H” for sweet nice guy.
Please don’t take it out of context. Please, please I wanted to say, nice guys who are in touch with their feelings. I know, I need to learn how to be more Vulnerable, be more upfront with weakness.
Originally Posted by Jq25 It’s a strange feeling after all the horrible things she’ve done I still love her. Many of us understand that initial feeling, but trust me you'll think about it much differently as time moves on. My guess is the anger hasn't really hit yet. And it will. You'll know it when it does.
BL42 What do you mean by anger hasn’t hit yet? Could you elaborate on it?
