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Amen to what kml said. Hold out for that guy because you're worth it !

You're not crazy. We are missing something--affection, sex, daily companionship. t's okay to want those and it's only a problem when you need a partner so much you can't enjoy time without or are willing to accept bad behaviors.


Given your dating experiences, you know you could find "a" partner as easily as I or anyone else here. You mean a quality, compatible partner. The kind you'd want to spend the last part of your life with.


I don't know. From what you put out here, you're a "catch". Now that I've said that, I'm going to have to find a metaphor for dating that doesn't compare men/women as trophy fish to be caught!! It will take some dates to find compatibility and an initial spark, but I can't imagine you being single 10 dates out.. or me 20 dates out, lol.

I fear that I'll settle for someone I don't want to spend the last part of my life with. I can live a solid life without a partner, but the chemicals affection and sex release are powerful. I need more patience to wait for the random number generator to decide date #X is where I meet a great match. I have so much to give, that's going to be a lucky person!

Well…gonna give you this brief update and run…lol. Hell hath frozen over…Brook started his month-long vacation yesterday and texted me to ask me if I had any plans this weekend. Turns out I was thinking about being a fifth wheel once again and heading to the lake where he lives with my sister and BIL who are going to visit our friends Brook has a boat and was planning to go out there as well. Said he was in need of a copilot and asked me if I’d be interested in the job. So my sister is dropping me off so I can go out with him on his boat and then I will meet up with her later on. Not my ideal first date…me in a bathing suit at the start of the summer in record-breaking temperatures to ensure I’ll be a sweaty mess if I’m not in the water…lol. Oh well…it is what it is. I’m excitedly nervous….haven’t seen him in a year and a half so keeping my expectations as low as possible. I know we will have fun…just don’t know if the attraction we felt a year and a half ago will still be there or if this is going to become a platonic friendship. We have a great rapport between us so if it is the latter, I will be okay with it. Anyway…will let everyone know how it went after I’m back. Wish me luck!!!

Yay! Off on my own adventure in 1 min. Wishing you luck!

So that was a really long first “date”. My sister dropped me off at Brooks and he gave me a tour of his home. He is unbelievably neat. He’s been there two years and it looked like he had just moved in….minus boxes and clutters. Pretty impressive…he clearly takes care of his belongings. Conversation was super easy. He is a talker like me so there was no awkwardness…just a really comfortable feeling. He told me that he had been talking to his friend from junior high who had been with him the night we met when we were 14. He asked him to guess who he was going to the lake with the next day. He couldn’t and when he told him he said his friend thought it was the coolest thing ever and was excited about it…lol. Anyway…temperatures were quickly rising and we anticipated the boat launch would be a nightmare so we decided to drive out to my friends’ and go out with them on their “party barge”. So our first date turned into a group outing.

There were eight of us. My sister and her hubby, our friends Z & J and J’s brother and his wife. We got there at around 12:30, I made introductions and we chatted for about a half an hour and got wet off the dock before piling onto the boat and heading out. It was a gorgeous day and not nearly as busy on the water as we had anticipated. Brook fit right in. Being born and raised in the town, he and Z discovered that Z’s really good friend was the older brother of Brook’s best friend who lived next door to him for his entire childhood. Brook also works with our friends’ next door neighbour. So lots of connections between them that made the day really easy and comfortable.

Probably not my ideal first date because of the minimal alone time but a really, really awesome first meeting. Definitely checked the “fits in with my friends” box. We were out on the boat until around 6:00 and then when we got back, our friends invited us to come back to their place for dinner. We were there until around 9:30 before we needed to head back home. I gave Brook a big hug goodbye and he drove off shortly before us. My friends took the opportunity to give me the third degree about the nature of the friendship and my sister laughed and said it was because they really liked him and are probably hoping this is the guy I end up with (they met both Jack and TDH as well…not quite the same approval rating apparently).

On the way home, Brook texted that he had fun and my friends are “good people” and we agreed we would have to do it again soon. He’s on vacation for the next month and has a few things planned. He’s actually going sky diving on Wednesday with his 75 year-old mother. He hasn’t gone before but she went when she was 70, if you can believe it, and wanted to go again. Brook is a bit of adrenaline junkie so he’s pretty excited. On the boat, we spent a lot of time talking about our love of travel. We had texted a few days ago about how cool it would be to take a month-long trip to Europe and where we would want to go, etc… I joked that “it’s a date” and it could be like a pact people make in their 20’s…if we are both single by 35, we will get married… only this would be the travel version of that. The subject came up when we were on the boat and he said he was only partly joking…lol. I said “me too” and we laughed.

So…who knows where this is going? What I do know is that if it is going anywhere, it will be at a really slow pace with no pressure. The comfort level between us was amazingly high and for the first time in my life, I find myself being perfectly okay with just seeing where it goes without trying to force anything. I want this person in my life as my friend, at the very least. If it becomes something more, that would be fantastic, but I am not setting my sights on that. If he turns out to be a platonic travel buddy, that would be awesome too. Anyway…suffice it to say, our first meeting could not have gone better and I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

Yay! I’ll write more later, but so happy for you. Off to hike and picnic again. (:

DV, love you so that is what prompts the question: are you sure that Brook thought of yesterday as a date in the same way you did? It's just that he's been so off/on, I worry that he's not on the same page. I hope this doesn't offend. I don't want you hurt. xoxoxo

I swear I'm just going to start waiting for bttrfly to respond then just type "ditto". LOL

DV, you are such an amazing, loving person and you are someone who is so open to love while you are usually able to see red flags and such (which is not always the case to people who are open to love), so I know you proceed with caution where romance is concerned, but I too, wonder, as bttrfly said, if you and Brooke are on the same page. Did he view it as a date or was it just an old friend hanging out in his mind? If you're cool with the old friend route, then that is all good, but if you are looking/hoping for a potential romance here, just be cautious that you aren't reading something that isn't there. I wouldn't even say this if he hadn't already been kind of flaky on you (and maybe even with good reason, as maybe that is just how he is). I don't want to see you get hurt, particularly on the heels of your relationship with TDH.

As the other ladies said before me, hold out for the one who is worth you because you are most certainly worthy.

Thanks Bttrfly & Dawn. Yeah…I’m on the fence with where he is at. I think I would have a better read on it if we had been on our own rather than on a group outing. I’ve been reflecting about it a lot though. TBH, it wasn’t like I was on pins and needles the entire time we were together or pining away for him in my mind. I was just in the moment and enjoying my time with him and my friends and didn’t really think too much about the romance side of things.

I know he has been through a really hard time and is going to counselling. He is also in the middle of planning a memorial for his brother who committed suicide in November. So he may not be in a place to be more than friends with anyone. I am honestly okay with it…not just saying that. I’ve deliberately taken a step back in my mind because I am aware there is a potential for him to flake out on me. So I’m letting him take the lead, or not, and just living my life. I feel like if it is meant to be, it will happen and I am honestly not going to try to force anything. Been there, done that. If we are to be friends and nothing more, I know that there is someone else out there for me.

I’m still talking to other guys off and on. Had a text from the paramedic yesterday who I haven’t heard from since we went out. He said he assumed he wasn’t my type and that he really liked meeting me and he wished he had been able to kiss me…lol. I think he was my type but just didn’t feel a romantic attraction toward him. I’ve also been talking to another guy on Tinder who lives about an hour away from me. Don’t know much about him yet but I may meet him in the near future.

Anyway….thank you all for your care and concern. I promise I am being careful with my heart. Definitely have not given it away. Fifteen year-old me has calmed down. Fifty-three year-old me is running the show and fully prepared for this to not go anywhere. Started thinking about travelling again. Hoping cross-border travel eases up by the end of the year as I’d love to take my kids to Disneyland in February sometime.

good. hold steady. see what happens, but keep your options open. xoxo