Listen. I’ve been there. In my early broken state, I’ve done stuff that was embarrassing and desperate appearing. All you can do is move on and LEARN FROM IT. The more you try to do undo it, the worse it will get.
You realize you don’t know what you want, you are trying to bandage a wound in the very wrong place which is only causing more damage.
Stop looking for attention in all the wrong places. Who is this married man you are texting?
You are spinning out of control looking for anything to take away the pain and those very things are causing you more pain.
Stop. Take a breather. Very strongly consider therapy. It will be very helpful. Look for all the healthy ways to soothe yourself. You’ll get through this. But the point is you have to get through it. Can’t get over it, can’t get under it, through it is the only way
Thank you - I'm very much aware I'm using a bandaid on a bullet wound.
The married man was supposed to be just a friend. He's unhappily married and I keep pushing to work on his marriage but he's starting to cross that line... and I will NOT be that woman. That has to stop.
I just cannot believe how I behaved with this guy -- I don't think he's a bad guy... I think I would have liked to have dated him. Can't go backwards - right?
Tomorrow is my atty appt where I'm telling her its time to file... I know that is weighing on me too. I've given up on getting STBXH back but it just seems so final... like I'm giving up on life or something. I never thought I'd lose my marriage - it became such an identity to me.
OMG! KK! He does want to keep you around as a FWB! But it’s not what you want which you made very clear to him! What do you expect?!? He’s not interested in the other stuff and you expressed you are!
I don't think he does.
He hadn't ask to see me for 3 weeks... He hasn't even hinted at it over the last 3 weeks. When I was in touch with him the weekend before I left I got some grumpy text that he was in a bad mood and had a lot of his plate that week... so I gave him some space. He used to text and be flirty but after I left his house that night I showed up in just lingerie he's been pretty cold.
Sadly its just been me then initiating texts - but he always responded until i sent those last 2 doozies of a text.
I just don't think he's that into me...
Twice he hinted at me stepping up my divorce... so is that it??? He doesn't want to continue unless I'm serious about D???
Divorce shouldn’t be the end of your life. You are way more than your marriage. Your identity goes way beyond that and it’s probably the right time to find put what that is. And I don’t think your identity involves being a man chaser .
The reality is, even if you would have liked to date him, it wasn’t an option . I don’t think he is a bad guy either. But why would he want to get serious with a woman who is still married and is clearly not over her ex and doesn’t have her emotional sh!t together? It’s not an insult. It’s a reality. Would you want to date a man seriously who was in your position and state right now ? Get divorced, become emotionally healthy and treat yourself with respect. And stop talking to the married man! I got in 2 of those situations where a “friend” was in an “unhappy” marriage and was trying to cheat with me. One guy ended up stalking me when I said no way. Again, treat yourself with respect and love. Because you aren’t doing that right now. And others aren’t going to treat you the same until you treat yourself that way. Trust me, I’ve been there
Divorce shouldn’t be the end of your life. You are way more than your marriage. Your identity goes way beyond that and it’s probably the right time to find put what that is. And I don’t think your identity involves being a man chaser .
The reality is, even if you would have liked to date him, it wasn’t an option . I don’t think he is a bad guy either. But why would he want to get serious with a woman who is still married and is clearly not over her ex and doesn’t have her emotional sh!t together? It’s not an insult. It’s a reality. Would you want to date a man seriously who was in your position and state right now ? Get divorced, become emotionally healthy and treat yourself with respect. And stop talking to the married man! I got in 2 of those situations where a “friend” was in an “unhappy” marriage and was trying to cheat with me. One guy ended up stalking me when I said no way. Again, treat yourself with respect and love. Because you aren’t doing that right now. And others aren’t going to treat you the same until you treat yourself that way. Trust me, I’ve been there
I posted that 2 minutes ago and I really think you didn’t really slow down to get the message. Slow down, take my post on.
It is a pep talk. It’s a dose of reality, but it’s a pep talk. You are so spinning inside the desperation of wanting this guy to like you as more than sex.
I don’t think you deserve the treatment you give YOURSELF. The treatment you give yourself is what other people mimic.
I posted that 2 minutes ago and I really think you didn’t really slow down to get the message. Slow down, take my post on.
It is a pep talk. It’s a dose of reality, but it’s a pep talk. You are so spinning inside the desperation of wanting this guy to like you as more than sex.
I don’t think you deserve the treatment you give YOURSELF. The treatment you give yourself is what other people mimic.
I wasn't being sarcastic... it was a sincere "thanks for the pep talk". I'm a speed reader!!!
You're right. I want this guy to like me... he's just not that into me.
I met up with a guy I had not seen since nursery school... yup... not since 1975... LOL. He told me I'm absolutely beautiful... but a train wreck... Told me what a fool my H was to do what he did. I think train wreck just oozes from my pores... or my aura.
OMG! KK! He does want to keep you around as a FWB! But it’s not what you want which you made very clear to him! What do you expect?!? He’s not interested in the other stuff and you expressed you are!
I don't think he does.
He hadn't ask to see me for 3 weeks... He hasn't even hinted at it over the last 3 weeks. When I was in touch with him the weekend before I left I got some grumpy text that he was in a bad mood and had a lot of his plate that week... so I gave him some space. He used to text and be flirty but after I left his house that night I showed up in just lingerie he's been pretty cold.
Sadly its just been me then initiating texts - but he always responded until i sent those last 2 doozies of a text.
I just don't think he's that into me...
Twice he hinted at me stepping up my divorce... so is that it??? He doesn't want to continue unless I'm serious about D???
IDK
So guy doesn’t ask to see you in three weeks and you show up almost naked and you don’t see why he might think you’re a little off your rocker?
I guess I just needed a definition of what "this" was...