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Scotty B,

All completely normal. Your W would never admit it but I bet she does it too. It will get easier.

I hear what you’re saying. My daughter asked to sleep over her friends house on Saturday. I was disappointed but didn’t show it. I don’t want her to not have a normal life and worry about my feelings.

I will say it again. In time once everything folds out, you’ll give two $hits how her tennis lesson went.

Hey Scott,

It's ok to cry and let it out. In fact, letting it out is exactly what you should be doing. Just don't do it in front of her.

I can recall times at work that I needed to go out to my car because I thought I was going to break down in front of all my colleagues. I also remember days where I was so distraught at work that I literally surfed Divorcebusting
for the entire day looking for anything to make me feel better.

While you can't see it right now, with time you will slowly get stronger and stronger. And like LH says, eventually you won't even care what your W says or does.

Just hang in there and keep posting. We are all pulling for you.

Get ready for some serious pettiness. I'm sure the W you knew before would never be so petty about a laundry basket, but welcome to your new reality. There will be more to come.

I've related this story before and every time I do I wonder if people actually believe me because it sounds too absurd to be true. But it did indeed happen- when my XW was packing to move she took an empty bottle and, as I watched, poured half of the bottle of dishwashing liquid into it. I would have given my life for this woman, and at one time she would have done the same I am sure. But there she was making sure she had "her half" of the dishwashing liquid. If she had asked me I would have told her to take the whole bottle and whatever else she wanted from the kitchen, I mean COME ON!!!!!!!

So next time something like this comes up just go buy a new one. Let her be petty.

As a side note, that wasn't permanent. My XW later resorted back to being the same caring, giving person I remembered. I was at her house for Thanksgiving last week and she heard me talking to my daughter about how I would like to get an iWatch to monitor my heartrate during my workouts, she (XW) told me not to get one "because Christmas is coming up". Blows my mind.

Yes. Letting out your emotions is the healthy thing to do. Find a safe place. Make a time for it.

Need to express some anger? See if you have a "rage room" service in your area. I haven't done it but I think it would be a great experience.

Need to cry? Rent Marley and me. It should trigger the sadness. The trigger doesn't matter. Letting your emotions out is what is important. Watch it alone and let the tear fly. Embrace the process. Feel the pain.

We have been where you are. It is normal.

As far as the laundry basket, get a really nice manly. Let her have the cheap old ones.

Google this for a few ideas: SKU: W001802132

Parenting is your #1 responsibility. Do your 50%. Do it during your parenting time. Let the Mother have her 50%. With the other 50% of your time, taking care of you is your responsibility.

50% DAD / 50% SCOTT.

Enjoy the time with your kids when you have them. Enjoy your time alone when they are with mom. Take care of business when they are gone. Take care of them when they are with you.

Thanks folks.

So after I wrote I got a call from my mom, my dad tested positive for Covid. The test was on Monday. The kids and I were with them while my wife moved out of the house and based on incubation times me and the kids have to quarantine and so does my wife.

I texted her to tell her because I knew a call would not go well. I picked them up from school because she had a job interview, they will now be out until 12/15. My wife doesn't work, so she'll be fine - except she doesn't work so when she doesn't have the kids she is going to be pretty lonely.

So once her interview was over she came to get the kids. She didn't even get out of the car. She texted me to let me know she was here and I carried all their stuff out to her car. She asked a couple of questions and drove away.

To a degree, I kind of thought it was funny. [censored] though, now I'm also going to have to quarantine and GAL will be tougher. I'll work, I'll work on my guitar, I may work out in my garage, but this is going to be tough.

Lucky for me I get the kids on Friday for 5 days. Then I'll have a real rough stretch for 5 as she will have them 5 in a row.

I just got a text from my wife that says we need to talk about Christmas. Initially we were going to do it together but I'm betting she's planning to change that now. That should be interesting.

Also, our mediation session tomorrow might get spicy because of this whole quarantine thing.

Scotty B I really think you need to brace yourself for the fact that there is already another man in her life.