PLC, I don't know how you are able to handle this in-house separation. I personally think you are doing an excellent job.
It has been a month for me and it is driving me insane to the point where I have decided to leave. I am so incredibly angry that all I do is unintentionally throw daggers at my W resulting in some nasty arguments. At least you are able to remain detached an continue GAL. I am failing at both miserably.
THank you for the compliment. I am just doing me.I am sorry that you are going insane. I really don't get a chance to throw daggers since H literally will walk in, turn and go into the bedroom.
Yesterday, the cable went out. It was about 6:30 pm. He came into where I was sitting, already wearing his pajamas (at 6:30 pm!) and asked if the cable went out. When I responded, it was like I was speaking to a sleeping kid. I have dealt with this teen for almost 18 months. I told him if he liked, I could come and check if it did not reboot. He agreed. About ten minutes later, I got up and the door was already closed so I did not bother.
Everyone here that knows my situation, knows that not cooking for him is hard for me. That hurts. I will get over it. I just need to focus on me. You need to focus on you.
Just know that we all have bad days, if you are chosing to stand you will need to learn to detach. You can make it through. If I can, anyone can.
H is in his room. I heard his phone ring. I could tell it was work, it escalated, he was yelling so loud I could hear clearly with his door closed. He is so angry.
Some times it is good he leaves us alone. He never got this angry with me or our D, but I can see he has anger within him.
Maybe things aren't going too well and he is taking it out on the caller.
I think that he has been mad at me at different times. In fact, the first BD in May 2019, he was pretty angry and when I tried to calm him down ( he felt I was nagging so much ) he announced he no longer wanted to be married.
I understand this has been a long time coming, but I also know that that day, he did not plan to BD, but it presented itself and he could say something.
As we all know, it has not been all sunshine and rainbows for him since then, and for me? I am doing ok.
After I posted my earlier post about just giving up, I had to go somewhere. I had the radio on my station and cranked it up and sang along. I instantly felt better.
I also realized, since his little weekend get a way a couple of weeks ago, I have not heard his phone pinging all night long. I don't focus much on his behaviors, I just realized I hadn't heard anything.
Me? I am relaxing watching the game, rooting on my Dodgers. I'm happy.
I got into an stupid disagreement with D tonight. Sometimes the walls close in. She already apologized.
H was in the bedroom, door closed. I discovered he is going to be out of town this weekend with the uncle. I haven’t seen nor heard from him since he stumbled out of the room the other night to tell me the cable wasn’t working. He was super angry yesterday on the phone, but not with me.
I know I am standing, this is what I want. I just get sad when he really just ignores so much. As you can tell, it comes and goes and I am sure having a disagreement with D has made me sensitive tonight.
I made myself a little list of to-dos for the weekend, and i am looking forward to accomplishing these things.
