Quote: There was a time pre-bomb when h and I seemed very happy -- at least I thought we were. then, I dunno, it gets bl
Same thing here. We were SO happy...then we bought the house, my dad passed, things with my family of origin became more dramatic, we had dd, etc.....we were angry, tired, disillusioned, etc...who knows!
Quote: guess what I most wonder is this...if h had felt happy in our m. would ow's presence have mattered? And if h felt unhappy, what was he unhappy about? and did ow's presence (as a friend) make him feel less happy with me (comparisons, etc)?
Exactly! Were things so bad with me that he had to do this? Was there something beside me not cooking, physical intimacy not what he wanted, and the rest of the list he recites to me each time he tells me he wants a D?
Quote: a guy who works for me just asked to speak to me for "5 minutes" -- 90 minutes later I loaned him my copy of "Divorce Remedy"....
Yes...he came to me to warn me that his head isn't in the game right now because he and his wife are having serious m. problems...they are talking about separating. they have a six year old son.
It's so hard to see (on this board and off) how rampant this is? How there is yet someone else who is about to go down that awful path so many of us have traveled. He is very lucky that he decided to approach you.
Quote: I'm glad he came to me...I remember feeling very lost and upset at work and wishing that I could tell my boss that I may need some slack for a bit.
I tried for a while to do it on my own, to pretend, to keep up, etc. until I eventually went to my boss with it. He was SO surprised and incredibly supportive...still is. It's been the smartest thing I've done.
Thanks for sharing. Hope you have a great weekend.
Had a great weekend...Friday night when I got home from work we went on an awesome hike...then picked up dinner and headed home for h to study for his exam (Sat.). I gotta say that hiking together is a very big positive for us...something about the walking together + the occasional talking is a GREAT thing.
Sat. I drove h into town and went and had a manicure/pedicure while he was taking his exam ( ). We went home (took us forever to get out of town! tons and tons of traffic) and relaxed for a bit...worked in the yard some (positive!) and hung around. we went back into town for a celebratory dinner.
Note to self...if you're going to be walking around wear comfortable shoes otherwise you get sore feet AND you are CRABBY!!!!
This is actually a good reminder to me...I was so irked because I was physically uncomfortable...need to remember that so I'm not personalizing h's distance/irkedness if he's not feeling well!
Sunday went to h's baseball game...it got called early due to rain. Ran some errands, came home and RELAXED...BIG TIME. It was great, great, great to just hang out together.
Other positives -- h told me "pre-emptively" that he had disabled the screensaver on his computer (because it conflicts with the exam software). He wanted to let me know because he knew that sometimes I felt insecure when I saw the computer screen on "alert" and he didn't want me worried. THAT'S a BIG DEAL!
Had some great PT from h this weekend...lots of hugs and kisses...very passionate! Made me feel very sexy
Start school again tonight after two weeks of relaxation! Should actually be a much lighter load than last sememster -- taking "Leadership" -- a nice, "soft" subject -- lots of reading!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quote: Note to self...if you're going to be walking around wear comfortable shoes otherwise you get sore feet AND you are CRABBY!!!!
This is so funny: I just posted a "note to self" on my thread. I had gone out for a couple of drinks with a friend of mine. I don't have a high tolerance for alcohol and have found that I dont' do my best DB'g after a couple.
Quote: This is actually a good reminder to me...I was so irked because I was physically uncomfortable...need to remember that so I'm not personalizing h's distance/irkedness if he's not feeling well!
Sage, this is such reminder! I, too, get kindda crabby if I'm tired, not feeling well, hungry, etc.....it's ME, not someone else! Great point!
Started school again last night -- "Leadership" for the next 6 weeks and an intensive elective over the next two weekends. A nice balance for my analytical and human oriented sides!
Got some great emails from h while at school (+); also had some good phonecalls during the day (+) -- nice!!! Had a good sleep with some snuggling and chitchat before we dozed off (+)!
PIB -- thanks so much for the link! Boy, they have a ton of info, no? Seems like I could spend too much time poking around over there!
Was looking at h last night thinking about what a loving dad he'd be.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
As much as I want to have children with my husband, I really think I need to lose at least 50 of this extra hundred pounds I'm carrying. So, I have a bit of time...figure I'd begin reading to see what challenges we'll be facing.
My h has me so confused. Take a look at my thread. He called me Sunday. I didn't call him back. He has problems with insecurity so I wonder if mystery just makes him more insecure???????? I miss H.
Had a great night last night....got home from work and h and I went for a walk (+). I like taking the time to get out, get some exercise...it's a good opportunity for us to talk, too, although I'm finding that walking together in quiet is good too!
h asked me out on a date for tomorrow night. (+) Nice to be on the receiving end of such a lovely invite! h has LOTS going on in the next day or two...his last exam is tonight!!! And his first day of his internship is tomorow! Goodness, the man is a dynamo!
Finally documented positive is a biggie...we were sitting together last night and out of the blue h says "you know, I think that you have a picture of yourself as much more stressed out, much more demanding (can't remember the exact word...impatient? critical?) and much more high maintanence that you really are....I don't think you give yourself enough credit for how relaxed you really are...how much more easy going you are than you think. I guess that's because you have such high standards".
WOW. It's true that my stressness, my "lack" of easygoingness has been something that I've been noting and trying to change for a while...I can FEEL that I've relaxed a great deal and it's WONDERFUL that h has not only NOTICED and MENTIONED but that he thinks I'm even MORE easygoing than I DO!!!!
GOOD STUFF.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
You yearn for settlement and stability. For completion, closure and comfort. You want to know where you stand and stand where you know it is safe to be. Yet something is being kept in a state of flux. You await a decision. You are being given only vague and incomplete information. You can't allow yourself to get caught up in endless dithering. Don't wait for a choice to be made for you. Just make your own and then stick with it. The only thing you'll lose from being so assertive, is your sense of frustration.
I can think of half a dozen things it could apply to in my life (m, work, baby, etc). Guess I'll be assertive on all of them! Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
). We went home (took us forever to get out of town! tons and tons of traffic) and relaxed for a bit...worked in the yard some (positive!) and hung around. we went back into town for a celebratory dinner.
