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Good Morning Can

I would not push to establish guidelines. Your questions are valid, reasonable, rational, and deserving of an answer. Which he will probably not be forth coming.

Consider:

H is leaving tomorrow.

H is the one who announced he is done with M.

H has OW.

H is the one who is leaving.

H should be the one to make arrangements before he leaves.

You cannot read his mind. If he wants to leave without some communication arrangements in place, so be it. You have D3. You don’t need to run after H to ensure his communication strategy is in place, that’s not your job.

Let him leave. If he hasn’t discussed the plan for contact then just fit him in when you and D3 have time. Remember he is leaving without discussions on separation, communication, bills, etc. You don’t have to run around to get his life in order. Your life is in order. Leave him to his mess. He need to work through it and grow up.

DnJ

I totally agree w/DnJ...leave your h to his own mess. It's not your job to establish communications once he's gone. He's a grown man and if he wants to make a stab at communicating while he's gone, he'll do it. Otherwise, you and your D3 enjoy yourselves and make a new life when he's out of the house. Only contact him if it is an emergency. Remember...he fired you as his wife and you are not his mother, i.e., to make things better for him.

Keep the focus on you and your D3. Once he's out of there, the heavy weight will lift off your shoulders and you can actually breathe again.

Stay safe.

Thanks Dnj. Yes, I do need to remember/consider what he's done. And what he hasn't done and leave it. IF he wants to talk, he knows very well how to. I will leave it alone.

Most friends think I'm crazy for not asking a lot of questions. I'm just stepping back from H & letting him go.

Thanks job. My job is mom to D3...Things with 00 will be, the way they will be. I will focus on D3 & I. Whatever he does he does. I am not part of his life. I am D3s mom. That is who I am.

Contact only in emergencies or business. Just like last year. Easy. I CAN DO THIS!!

~j~ Here we are. I will be calm.... I will be calm...I will be calm... This on repeat.

Any words of encouagement are welcome. You guys are great cheerleaders. I know I CAN do this. I will do this...I WILL DO THIS. One day at a time right?

Remember, one hour at a time if you need it! Can, you are strong and bada** and you can definitely do this. You can feel what you need to feel whenever you need to. D3 is lucky to have such a kind, smart, and resilient mama. (((Can)))

Hello Can

Yes, you can definitely do this.

A huge weight will be lifted from you once H is out of the house. It’s going to take a bit to find the new normal. Once there, things are going to be much better. Have faith on this one; it only doesn’t feel that way sometimes. Your better times are coming. Believe it. (((Can)))

One day at a time.

DnJ

~j~ the day came & went. Pretty painless. My friends that know my sitch think I'm crazy for not saying any last words to H. What could I possibaly say that I haven't said in the past. He's gone. I'd be wasting my time. He know that what he's done and how it hurt me. He knows my stuggles. So am I crazy for saying nothing before he leaves? I may never see him again.

Good Morning Can

I didn’t say “last words” to my XW either.

I’m with you. What could we say? At that moment.

Live a great life. Become the best version of you. That will say more than words ever will.

DnJ

Thanks DnJ. I've been asked by a few friends, what will my last words be? Don't you just want to rip into him, yell at him!? Sure, but it doesn't change anything. And who wants to face possible rejection? Not me.