That he's so angry at you indicates attachment. Another indicator is how often he reached out to you during his time away. He could've had a complete 4-day KitCat vacation. He's probably as confused by his mood swings are you are--I wonder what feelings seeing you in those sexy PJs pulled up! It's not a good situation, but where there's attachment, there's more hope than where there isn't.
Yep. Hatred is pretty close to love. Most experts agree that apathy is more dangerous than hatred or anger.
The problem is that your hopes are up and down based on his actions and words. That's attachment.
I am going to continue to tell you that you need to get into IC.
Thank you Steve85 AND CW ---
For being the calm in my storm.
And you are right my hopes are up and down directly tied into his actions and emotions.
He will be angry no matter what. He will blame you for his anger. Every time you interact with him, you will be the easy target. Don't give him a target.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
He will be angry no matter what. He will blame you for his anger. Every time you interact with him, you will be the easy target. Don't give him a target.
YES --- I will not be around... he will have to stop blaming me...
Yup.. I think he noticed the weight is dropping... he can keep looking...
Yup.. I think he noticed the weight is dropping... he can keep looking...
He does not deserve me....
No, no he does not. Keep going!
the best apology is changed behavior. *************** me: 45 h: 48 m: 23 T: 26 DD1:19 DD2:16 DS:11 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
Yesterday after he accused me of f'ing him up and telling me that he felt betrayed by me and well since I couldn't drop the conversation that we are toxic...
I let it go and I was p*ssed.
I didnt go home after work and met S18 a restaurant to have a chat and chill. I let him go home first to see if H got up and went to work.
SURPRISE!!!!! It was 1 1/2 he after he was supposed to get up.... sill sleeping.
Since I eventually wanted to go home I had S18 wake him up but I stayed gone until he left.
He came home this am... hasnt said a word fo me.... eventually asked if my coffee cup goes in dishwasher .. I said yes. He later asked what was wrong with his dog... I said he just probably ate something he should not have.
Now I'm sitting in the living room and he has retreated to the sun room to watch videos on his pbone.
Today is going to be a long one.
Last edited by job; 03/10/2002:20 PM. Reason: edited language
So as he plays games on his phone in other room I sit down to take of my business.
I had to atty - different atty. Only use this one every 4-5 years for child support/custody issues. S18 is getting ready for college and his dad always said we would split expenses. Now he is majorly back peddling... LIKE I NEED MORE STRESS. And, frankly I should be able to rely on my H for support and he isn't in the picture. I felt like I was always there to support him with ALL the drama of his kids and ex - for years I was his support system. It is a knife in the heart that he isn't there for me for this.
Anyway, H clearly stopped gaming in the other room to be able to hear my convo... LMAO... probably wondering WHY I'm calling an atty... If he listened closely enough he would have heard it was about S18 and college.
I'm off phone and he goes back to loud gaming.
A few minutes later I have to make another call to change an appointment with conflict. He stops gaming again to hear my phone conversation... He doesn't know its my Dr office because I am seeing the NP not the Dr and only using her name.
I left the house and blew off some MAJOR steam on the way home. I need to find a way to maintain my P*SSED attitude. But, lord help me when I see him I still melt... he was my everything... he was my person. I get it now that he is not AND he is not worthy of me at all... but when I see him... ugh... attraction... BUT, how can I be attracted to a doofus that is behaving this way and invited another woman into our relationship??
Must stay focused and P*SSED
Last edited by job; 03/10/2002:22 PM. Reason: edited language...please watch your language!
I'm starting to hate him... there are things in there he should not be seeing... mostly some sites I've been too about dealing with break ups and solutions to get through things and how to get your ex back.
I get TONS of other spam type and group emails... SO he would really have to be hunting through them.. BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT.
I called him out... I've let the other snooping slide by... but this is a violation. I texted him - did he get into my emails. He did admit he did and it was accidental. How our mail client is set up THAT is easy to do... I've done that a few times over the years. He said he opened one email and realized his mistake and that he was looking for a document in his email.
H then tried to call me - I rejected the call.
H then texted me to call when I can... I'm too freaking confused and tired of walking on eggshells... NOW, what does he want???
After telling me he feels I f'd him over, left him feeling betrayed, told me this conversation is toxic because I will not let it go... I was home all morning and he didn't want to talk... WHY does he want to talk now???
::In 1-4 hours:: “Busy day—texting is better. What’s up?”
I’d try not to let him draw you into another of those gawdawful phone calls.
Besides taking control, and documenting the conversation, text allows you to slow things down.
Originally Posted by KitCat
ANGRY, SCARED, ANXIOUS
Finding her strength, knows she deserves better, cute in those PJs. (:
Thanks for helping me calm down.
When I didn't call back he flooded my texts... he has filled out paperwork. I need to finish it. He feels me asking for 100k is unreasonable... keep in mind I do not have all the numbers.. he is supposed to be getting his pension numbers.
He is still yelling at me over yesterday with the bank account info all being my stuff so he gets locked out of his account. Reminder it was our account.
I'm sitting there taking it... not trying to disagree but holy heck this hurts. Trying to validate that I can see his side of things.
He stated he is filing for D and if I don't agree we can each get atty's. I did happened to ask that last we talked it was legal separation and he said we would do what I wanted. He said that was before he was all pissed off yesterday that account names had changed and passwords had changed... so its an entire new game now.
I told him I informed him of password change... he said he didn't remember and I should send him the texts... so I sent a screen shot. He said he got it... he said he didn't remember the converstaion... but there it is in black and white.
I am to hiding anything... do you think he gets the point???
Came home to H still being awake and on phone to atty.. he wants to file asap... he has again taken legal separation off the table...
He wants it to be done... screw me and what he told me.
I'm so angry...
He thinks what I was asking for was wayyyyy too much... l said I dont have all the numbers ... he hasnt given me his sso how can I know what is fair.....
