How do you be assertive yet attentive to a woman? I feel stupid for asking. But I’m trying to reinvent myself here. I’ve dug through all the emotional stuff and now there is so much work to be done on myself. I feel like only now I can be AMOAFWL
Observe other men. Pick out traits that you want. Youtube is a great resource. Go out with the intention on watching the guys and how they interact with woman. Watch the guys that interact with lots of women.
As far as your question, all depends on what is currently happening.
I am typically attentive to my woman, then I break contact. Make and break contact.
As far as assertive, I will say "I want you to Bla bla bla"
or
I will take her hand and lead her to safety. She will be saying "Wait what blabla". I will say "two drunk guys behind us were starting to argue and it was escalating."
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
How do you be assertive yet attentive to a woman? I feel stupid for asking. But I’m trying to reinvent myself here. I’ve dug through all the emotional stuff and now there is so much work to be done on myself. I feel like only now I can be AMOAFWL
Rent "Crazy, Stupid Love". It's a pretty funny movie, but there's actually some good advice in there too. Cal (Steve Carell) has been married for 20+ years and his W has an affair. He moves out and awkwardly tries to start talking to women again. Jacob (Ryan Gosling) takes pity on him and starts coaching him on how to approach and communicate with women. A lot of it is stuff we talk about here- dress better, listen, validate, be the alpha male, etc. I also suggest you read The Married Man Sex Life Primer, lots of good stuff in there on how to be more alpha and less beta.
Lol. I was thinking of the same movie when I read his post. Just don’t do the things Steve C does including the big grand jesture in the end. Hollywood can be bad for relationships.
Lol. I was thinking of the same movie when I read his post. Just don’t do the things Steve C does including the big grand jesture in the end. Hollywood can be bad for relationships.
So true, if only those Hollywood endings actually happened! Pursuit works great in movies
My only caution oz is be careful thinking you've arrived. Many a LBS has thought they were 100% detached, and then when their WAS started dating someone, etc.....the detachment came crashing down. Stay diligent on your GAL and 180s. Detachment ebbs and flows. It is okay, just keep working on it.
So true. I thought I was detached about 9 months after BD. Then after a year I thought "wow, I really wasn't detached back then even though I thought I was. But now I really am." Then 3 months later, found myself saying that again. Then 3 months later.... yeah it continued for quite a while. You know how to tell when you're really detached? You don't even talk about it. Your posts are filled with all the GAL stuff you're doing and how much you're enjoying life with no mention of detachment or dropping the rope. You don't say you are, you just are.
