Each sitch is different. Each child is different. Some will deal with it better than others. I know my kids and I know they will be devastated if/when D happens. All I can do is protect and prepare as best as possible.
My point is more how Jim said go back at read it “that there is no way divorce won’t traumatize the kids”. Not speaking for anyone else but me. My kids are not traumatized.
Been gal-ing more last few weeks. Going out a minimum of 2-3 times a week. W stays at house with S11. Earlier today, she asked if I wanted her to make a pie to bring to my family’s celebration on Thanksgiving ( w is revered for her baking skills and people look forward to it). I just said, “No, we’re all set thank you.” Odd thing to ask, given our sitch, but I understand she’s in a strange place.
So W just texted. Said she wouldn’t be home for dinner today because she is meeting her parents (who are anti D) for dinner. Said she “ supposes she needs to get this conversation started at some point with them.” Also asked in same text “ how’s it going there?” and if we needed anything at store or if she can pick up my dry cleaning. Mixed message? MLC confusion? I have not responded.
To be honest with you it doesn’t matter. Keep it short and have her pick up your dry cleaning if you want. My ex was famous for asking me if I wanted coffee so I accepted because I love coffee.
I am going to be honest with you. The talk with the parents who are anti D means there is probably no turning back.
The good news is it doesn’t really matter because recon if it happens is likely years away. Also, your W respects you so that is a must for recon. Feel free to ask me any questions because your sitch is very similar to mine.
I feel for you man and I promise you it does get easier.
Assuming she is actually meeting with her parents, I agree with what that likely means. She has used the “meeting my parents” excuse before.
If it weren’t for the kids, I’d be almost okay with this. I’ve lost my feelings for her to a degree during detachment. But when I see my kids hurting because of her decisions/selfishness, it’s going to be difficult for me to not hate her. Recon after that seems next to impossible.
