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You distanced and she pursued.

Worked perfectly.

Keep letting her pursue you,
dont pursue her.

Cadet nailed it. You handled it great. Now keep doing what you were doing. Only share info with her if it directly affects her, like you need a ride to the doctor or something.

Ok thanks guys!

But she asked me to share info with her from now on and I agreed. Soooo?

Oz, it's amazing how many pins you're juggling. Congratulations on making progress with your wife!

Just an idea--could you thread the needle? I.e., instead of saying nothing (the distancing which got her to pursue) or going into full info dump mode (what got her to back away), could you keep your promise by giving her a 1-2 line unemotional summary on the days things happen, as you might update an acquaintance? That would empower her to ask for more info only on the days she wants and can handle it.

Hopefully others will chime in with a variety of options to choose from. Stay strong!

Ozman, miss you, mate! Hope your absence is a sign life is going well for you.

Hoping to come back to some good progress. Keep us posted.

Joining Warrior and R2C here. Waiting for news Oz

Hey everybody. Sorry for the long absence! It’s been a while.

I’ll spare everybody the details of my cancer goings on and just say that everything is going as could as it could be. I’ve got meds adjusted, financial and insurance kinks worked out and am fighting this thing tooth and nail. (Think Rambo, mean mug, M-16 in each hand, cigar hangin out of mouth). Yea. That’s how I’m fighting it

As for my M. Hmmm. I don’t know really. I have no idea where it stands. Suppose it’s kinda the same just in limbo. What I do know is that it isn’t even close to the forefront of my mind. I enjoy being by myself. I don’t think about my M all that much. Whatever will be will be. I’m very content. I’m just happy. I really don’t know how else to say it. I guess I hope she comes around. I would love to spend the rest of my life with her. But if she doesn’t want that. Then see ya!

I kinda backslid into some old habits a week or two after being rediagnosed with cancer. Then I busted out of that rut and saw things in a whole new light. What an I doing? Why am I groveling over another human?!? I am their equal!! Not inferior to her. WTF am I doing lol. Only this time those feelings stuck

I can honestly say that if she were to say we are done when I get off work tonight. Here’s how it would go

W we are done I’m moving out
H ok. I would like you to stay and us work on our M but you gotta do what’s best for you
W well I’m leaving
H ok I’ll help you pack

I don’t even think I would be sad. Let me revise that. I KNOW I wound not be sad. Is that bad?

I don’t know. I’m just happy. And damn it’s a nice day outside. I’m enjoying every second of it

Thanks

Oz

Ok R2C. Sweet. Thanks. How ya been?