Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Filed WW P. 4

H,

lol. Here we go you’re worried about being rude. She left you for another man. Now that’s rude. That’s why you can’t accept these invitations for lunch because it makes you wishy washy. Not responding to her shows her that you respect yourself and you are done.

Hahaha got it thanks buddy!

The idea is to look like you are busy with your life and not particularly anxious to communicate with her because she's no longer your focus. Sometimes reply right away, sometimes a few hours later, sometimes not at all. That will make her think you are too busy for her. Now if you never, ever reply or if you reply in a very cold/ angry manner then she'll think it's rude.



There are appropriate and inappropriate 180's. To give you a rather obvious example, if you never initiated sex before BD and that was one of her complaints, then after BD do you think it would be a good idea to be in her face trying to have sex all the time? Clearly not. You do 180's on the things that make sense and make you a better person. Not on the things that will do more harm than good (like trying to be chummy in texts).

H,

I want to clarify some things based on my response and AS. If it’s about children or finances that yes use AS advice. Anything else you should not be responding. If you feel you are obligated which you are not then “no thanks” will suffice.

Again when you get to the point where you’re ready to D you shouldn’t give a fuch what she thinks. You may have jumped the gun.

Thanks boys,

Yeah I think I’ve been doing very well at this. It’s just with her being nice, inviting me places multiple times, and texting me and sending pictures multiple times a day, I was getting drawn back in a bit. That’s why I posted! I knew you guys would help me get back on the path!

Yeah I haven’t been responding to anything besides things related to son and when I do it’s usually hours later because I have many other higher priorities than replying to her. Love the feedback!

Excited for the weekend, I don’t have S this weekend so I’ve made plans every night to hang out with different group of friends each night. Tonight is buddy on hockey teams bday, gonna be wild! GAL is going great but at time of BD I was trying tons of new activities I hadn’t done before. Kind of slowed down on that, need to continue trying new things. Thanks guys

Hallzy,

The texts and invites and pictures may be her way of feeling good about herself, that she's not cutting you out. It may be her way of feeling less bad about the D. Who knows?

My W will text me the strangest things sometimes. Stuff about her family that I could care less about now. I always appreciate pictures of our kids. You are co-parents, you will always be connected in that way.

Who knows what is in your future? If your W really wants you back, it will be obvious and you will know. Otherwise, you will be confused periodically.

H,

It’s WW Manipulation to keep you on the hook as plan B.

Hi,
I have a question for the vets : it seems that most people are afraid of filing for divorce because they fear that they will lose their wife forever.
But why would it be more difficult to win her back after divorce rather than before ?
Being legally married does not prevent WAW or WW from cheating or do whatever they want to do. I am really interested to hear your thoughts about this.
In my case (which I have not explained yet on this forum), it has been 8 months since my wife said ILYBINILWY and moved out. Since then, I have not seen any change in her behavior and I am considering filing for divorce, hoping that it will demonstrate to her that I am detaching and I am ready to live without her. This way I am not the follower anymore. I see it as the ultimate LRT.

What yo are writing is true it is the ultimate LRT but this is DIVORCEBUSTING so why would we advocate you get divorced?

Nothing you DO is going to wake them up or make them change.
That is all on them.
You need to do things that you can CONTROL not something you think is going to make them change.
That is their own free will.

Please start your own thread to discuss this so we do not continue to hijack this thread.

J,

First off you should start your own thread.

I am in agreement that most recons that last come after divorce so if recon is your goal then I agree getting divorced doesn’t change anything.

If you’re gonna file to try to wake her up then it will surely backfire. I’ll comment more when you start your own thread.