Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Growing Pains(LB55 thread 4)

Same here. When I would go out alone I had women approach me and start conversations. It was great for my mental state.

Glad to pull you back brother. I keep shaking my head in amazement that the situations on here can all be different, with different folks, and yet be exactly the same script, time after time.

I haven't had any contact with W in over 2 weeks. I am going to have to this week to arrange to see the kids; it has been really nice not worrying about dealing with her. Oh well, its Monday, might as well get all the garbage out of the way today.

I haven't had that happen yet, it probably will eventually. I don't go out alone much, this was my first time. I mostly feel too tired to go out; just seems like perpetual exhaustion. Keeping up at work and then just taking care of a house and cooking and eating and all that, plus spending my days off with the kids equals exhaustion.

Doesn't help that my REM sleep cycle is from 3-6am but I get up at 430 every day. I can't wait to have a job that I can get up at 6am instead. Maybe one that pays me overtime when I work 14 hour days also. Yeah that would be nice.

Guys, What am I doing wRoNg?! I've gone to BWWW twice by myself and no women approach me!

I enjoy eating out by myself, people-watching, getting out of the house.

I consciously try to initiate more conversations with people when I'm out -- it's helped a lot with detachment, I highly recommend it. I've been walking by a lake near my house after work and started talking to some of the people fishing, already learned about the best spots, what bait to use, what they catch, etc.

Ive been hit or miss on the conversation starters, been making a slow effort to talk to strangers though. Its something I rarely did in the past.

People watching has always amused me; these days I observe way more than I used to. Used to just superficially look at their clothes or their hair or whatever; now I watch their motions, their expressions, their behaviors, etc. Its been interesting to say the least.

Something I always struggled with was catching the subtle signs a woman is interested. In watching people when I am out and about ive started being able to pick up some of those signs when watching them interact with others. Casual touching, hair fiddling, using the chapstick every 15 minutes, leaning closer even though the guy is plenty loud, etc. Its also easy to see the disinterest when it exists, and you just want to go tell the poor guy to go bark up another tree and stop buying drinks. Ultimately you don't though because its not your business; doesn't mean I cant learn from observing though!

Amazing isn't it. Just paying attention.


Learn to not avert your eyes from women. They are checking out guys all the time with side glances. It is fun catching them checking me out...

I'm only at the point where I recognize I do this, however that means I can focus on getting better at it in the future.

It is fun when I hang on for that extra half second, I'd like to get to where I win the staring contest once in a while.

It is the mans job to win. The longer she holds, the more she is interested. She looks away first.....wait...she will look back. Game on.

Why do you think I want to win??

I'm practicing at work on people, gender is not relevant. Just working to show dominance by making eye contact until they look away. I catch myself regularly still glancing down so im not good at it yet.

So W is back from her boondoggle to Africa. She is sick with some mysterious virus that dehydrates you when you drink water. WTF??? That makes no sense. Part of me thinks she has an STD.

I told her my plan for the kids, to take them camping this weekend; she immediately agreed and then began telling me how to watch out for various illnesses in the kids and so forth. I said thanks, please remember I am a capable parent too.

Then she starts in again on the kids visiting my parents for a week. How its a willing gift from her and she doesn't have to ever allow them to see them ever again and so forth. This makes me so mad and my family will be so hurt. She isn't willing to let the kids spend time with my parents anymore because I am a jerk and want her to coordinate the transfer since it is on her day with the kids. I work from 0500-1900 most days. She wants me to drive 4 hours each way overnight to drop them off and to pick them up. So basically I would get up at 4, work 14 hours, drive 4 hours, drop them off around midnight and drive 4 hours to get home at 4 am to shave, shower, and put my uniform on and go back to work. I just cant do it. She doesn't work and stays at home.

She is using the kids against me here and it feels terrible. Either I do things her way or the kids don't get to see their grandparents again. How do I deal with that? The lawyers and courts won't do anything about it. Grandparents have no rights in my state to ever see their grandkids.