Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Murphy, its you !

Yes, you do actually get to that point as hard as it may be for most here to believe right now. Or even... "yuck"

unchien, i find music helps.
Even the angry songs too. Today I am playing Sabotage by Beastie boys. (This is what betrayal sounds like)

"I cant stand it I know you planned it, Imma set it straight this Watergate...
Scheming on a thing, that's a mirage
I'm trying to tell you now, it's sabotage"


On the pure feeling of betrayal that has been going on for a long time before we woke up to the betrayal.

But the pure raw force that we will prevail and set it straight, this watergate.

LH19 will check out Accray posts,
I like AnotherStander (i think it was you) analogy of the football team gangbanging her in the field.
That one always pops up in my head as a measure of if I am there yet.

gzabetas - My song of the day (a little bit more obscure) - Come Down by Wavves+Cloud Nothings.

"You say it's nothing, you feel alright...there's something wrong creeping into your life"

unchien , thanks for the great tune suggestion.
Always on the lookout for new great music as I am also a musician myself.
This reminded me of this that is also on my playlist this month. - The Sound - Golden Soldiers.


I love the dissonant sound and chords in both songs.

I'm going to totally sing this one in my new band.

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yeah she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me
Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, she never gives out and she never gives in
She just changes her mind
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she brings out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me
Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, she never gives out and she never gives in
She just changes her mind
She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
But she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

Hey IHCLACS thanks for joining us with a song. Wow a fellow musician.
I own the song you mentioned on vinyl on the greatest hits billy joel album.
My personal favorite on there was Allentown.
I never listened to the lyrics growing up as I picked up the melodies more.
But now I can go back and truly listen to the story.


How cool is it that we always had an instrument to console us.
The guitar was always there for me to cure my pain,

My current song list on the guitar is very influenced by what we are going thru.

A&0ole by Beck
Gods gonna cut you down by Johnny Cash
The Becoming by NIN
Skin Deep by the Stranglers
Rowboat by Beck
Jackass by Beck

She lost respect for you.

Something we all hear about on this forum and elsewhere.
Somewhere along the way we men got hit with unemployment or financial hardship of God forbid, health issues.
And the wife lost respect.

Countless posts about how the woman loses respect in her man.
I am sure that applied to my case.
I was unemployed, sensitive, emotional. In a few words, human. I was human.

What is this right, or curse that women have to abandon a non alpha male man.
Alot of this biology btw goes back thousands of years when those indicators meant something.
Like protecting you from a bear or whatnot.
Nowadays courage and strength should be measured in how well your man is keeping it together under all kinds of new stresses of the 21st century. He gets hit with humiliation in work or money matters. Health issues. Multitasking to keep the home alive, and mentions nothing of this to his family. Going to his shed to lick his wounds.
And he gets hung for this ??

PS, We all have moms and sisters.

I never saw my mom treat my dad the way my WAW did me. when my dad lost his business, or when he went bust, or when he was in the hospital many times. Or when he was out countless nights drinking with his buddies.
His "sins" far outweighed mine. But yet. there was my mom, keeping it all together.
My sister similar stories. Always there by her husband.

I wish there were telltales signs of WAW's in the making.
Signs that you just bought a lemon.. One that wont last hardship. No endurance.
They are not all like that. I see proof of that daily.

Gzabetas,

I think there are tell tale signs in a lot of these sitchs...

But we chose to ignore them or avoid them to not rock the boat.


It may just be little things , maybe from day 1, maybe further down the line.. Things that you brushed aside as insignificant / not worth falling out over.. Little white lies, the odd flirty message that deleted or maybe comments that give you a glimpse of the way the WAW was starting to sway (maybe about your looks, not hitting the gym enough, the clothes you are wearing etc )

Its difficult for the LBS to pin point exactly in many cases, as the WAW will never ever give you a straight answer anyway, and we are taught to believe nothing what they say. I think its down to the LBS to learn from this mess... Learn, do the appropriate 180s, and be more selective next time.. keep their eyes open and dont ignore them red flags that maybe they chose to ignore first time round.

very well put MrBrside

Got one for you today Gz

Seasons (waiting on you) - future islands