Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Dealing with a WW and getting through divorce 6

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms on here.

Today would have been my 18th anniversary married to WW. Technically it is but D is pending.

STBXWW has been fairly nice to me. She asks odd questions. I chat with her when she talks to me. We were chatting about my weightloss yesterday and she actually told me that I look great. Thats a first. Usually she says something snarky like I look sick or something.

After we talked about my weightloss she straight up asked me to tell her about my new girlfriend. I respectfully declined to discuss those details of my life with her as I dont feel it is appropriate. Im not having a revenge affair. Im just doing what makes me happy and I moved on.

I have stepped up on the hot yoga and will be joining a new gym that trains with kettle bells to finish my physical transformation. I plan on leaning out to under 10% body fat and gaining about 10lbs of pure muscle. I will look amazing for the first time in my life.

STBXWW still makes random odd comments. She keeps telling me that I should go to her yoga studio and that I would like it. I dont tell her but no I wont go there because her new progressive friends there were in full support of her cheating and she was bragging to them about it. I want nothing to do with those people.

Plus I am happy at my studio as I get a great discount because one of my coworkers is my instructor.

Continuing to focus on myself and my kids. Seem to be getting along with STBXWW for once as opposed to the last 2+ years where she was constantly mistreating me and making me feel horrible about myself.

I should be signing the lease on my new home soon. Will be moving out June 1sr. I am looking forward to living my own life amd not seeing STBXWW every day.

Even though I have moved on and I am detached, it still saddens me to know my kids will face splitting their time between us. Not looking forward to being alone a week at a time every other week. But I giess ill get used to it.

All sounds great. I think with the alone time it is a fantastic opportunity to do things that you couldn’t before . There must be a few things that you have wanted to do but couldn’t? Horseback riding , climb a mountain, visit somewhere etc

I have tons of things that I would love to do that I never did because my STBXWW always didnt want to or gave me a hard time about spending money. I am going to get going on life full throttle once I am gone and I have weeks away from my kids.

I will be traveling a lot more. I am thinking a trip to Japan will be happening later this year.

Yes SoTorn! I also think about the free time I will have and what I will do, things I never got to do before. This includes things I will do with my kids that W shoots down. It helps me keep a PMA

I know XW's enablers and don't hold a grudge towards them. They were simply telling her what she wanted to hear, and if it wasn't them it would have been someone else. No one can talk sense into a WAS.



You will get used to it. It'll eventually become your "new normal". When you don't have them then make the most of that time by doing things you like to do and when you do have them you can be very focused on your time together with them. Losing them for half the time isn't as bad as it sounds. I mean yes it hurts at first but you do get used to it. The fact of the matter is they are going to grow up and move away some day anyway, so it's inevitable that eventually you have to get used to them not being there. Dropping my oldest off at college was almost as bad as BD. I am very proud of her for graduating and joining the working world and becoming independent and I love her to pieces, but I do miss the kid she used to be. That's life, we're in a constant state of transition.

ST,

I just wanted to chime in. That sounds like a great update. It seems like your physical transformation has been crazy. I am with you on the hot yoga. Both for the physical and emotional benefits. I think that there are few things that are more beneficial than that. If I go more than two days without going I can feel myself getting more irritable, less centered, etc..

A trip to Japan sounds amazing as well! Keep on keeping on.

Thabks everyone.

So I spoke too soon on the STBXWW being nice to me.

I had spoken about setting myself up financially. That meant paying off and consolidating debt. I got a debt consolidation loan. I have the funds in my savings account because after I move out, I am planning on trading my car for something cheaper and then sending the remaining funds off to pay off other debts.

WW owes me a settlement and owes me half the equity.

The STBXWW somehow convinced the bank that she was authorized to access my nee accounts. I never authorized her to do so. She saw that I had the funds in my account and went ballistic.

I had agreed to pay half of the living expenses while I live here. The STBXWW sent me a spreadsheet detailing about a grand a month as an expectation. I have been sending her anywhere between 1200-1500 a month, which is way more than I should be.

When she saw the funds she immediately assumed they were just extra funds. Didnt ask me what they were fore just assumed I had a bunch of extra money.

Then she started saying that I owed her several thousands for other expenses that she has been paying. She started demanding i pay her right now out of that money. I told her that I was paying half as we agreed. She of course disagrees. Its only half based on what she feels is half. So even though she makes nearly three times what I do, owes me a settlement, equity and will be ordered to pay child support she is demanding I give her money.


Thats laughable honestly. She started saying she was going to report me to the courts for not meeting my end of the signed settlement agreement. The agreement that has not been signed by a judge and is therefore not enforceable although its legally binding.

She went off calling me names, telling me I havent changed. She would not relent. I told her that she hasnt paid what she promised in that same settlement and cant just arbitrarily decide what she thinks is half. She cant demand money I dont have. So she just kept threatening me saying she would take me to court. I told her to go ahead and do what she wants.

Im so tired of her trying to control me with threats. She literally owes me money and will owe me child support and thinks im going to cough up several thousand dollars for other expenses on top of everything I have paid.

I held my ground and told her no. She threw the kitchen sink of insults at me. I still said no.

Oh how Waywards think they are right all the time about everything. She thinks she can force me to pay her money that I need to move out but she doesnt have to fulfill her agreement until the judge signs.

I cant wait to get the hell out!!!

Well. I guess I will start posting in the other forum.

Divorce is final. Its over for good. I move June 1st. Life goes on.


Everyone going through this. It hurts. But you will be ok no matter what. Even if you end up divorced.

God speed everyone.

It´s hard ST, and it´s real. Be strong there my friend. Get legal advise regarding XW claims.

It gets better man.

Respect comes first.

My best wishes for you and your kids. Keep moving forward.

(((ST)))

Thanks Neffer. My L said shes just upset because im doing well without her and I am moving on. L said he sees this behavior a lot. The WWS wants the LBS to fail because that would help with their justification. When they see the LBS flourishing and being prepared they get jealous and mad.

Although I have detached for the most part. I am sad that my MR ended the way it did. I truly loved that woman. I truly expected to live the rest of my life with her.

So the D going through is very bittersweet. I do miss my wife. The wife that was before all of this behavior. But I know now that she never truly loved me. She never gave her all. I am content with my effort prior to all of this. I am a man that a fool left.

But I know my value and love myself fully. My ex wife wont take that from me.