Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Settling In (LB55 Thread 3)

Thanks for the update.


W: 'I have plans Friday night, so make sure you pick up the kids on time'.
H:"I can pick them up early if that will help."

I would be fine with that, however I can't leave work earlier. Pickup time is entirely traffic dependent.

It is more about caller her on her BS. Even if you can only get there 5 minutes earlier than normal.


H:"Stuck in traffic" text lets you show up later if needed.


Other option:

W: 'I have plans Friday night, so make sure you pick up the kids on time'.
H:"Absolutely. Make sure you have all their stuff ready to go. "



I have had these stupid battles before. The more ridiculous, the more effective.

Good points, thanks. I'm still not sure why these conversations need to exist. I'm in the military. Being late isn't a thing.

I do update via text if traffic is delaying me.

W has been texting me all evening. ‘When are you going to be here tomorrow?’ ‘Give me a time frame so I can plan!’ ‘Surely you can get off early.’ She is getting quite agitated!

Must have a killer date!

I just keep telling her I get off about 4 and will text her when I leave.

Good, just stick to business. It sounds like she's trying to trigger you. Just let it roll off of you, not your problem. Oh and don't feel obliged to answer every single text if she just keeps saying the same crap. Just say "I've already told you I will be there at the normal time, please plan accordingly and don't keep asking. I will inform you as soon as I can if anything changes."

Ah the entitlement of the walkaway set.

The entitlement is surely a thing! Its amazing. Every time that we have a conversation about getting the D process moving and over with, it rapidly turns into her telling me what she is entitled to.

That is the point that I say farewell and leave. I will not discuss entitlement. I despise that word. I despised that word long before this process. Nobody on this planet is entitled to anything in my opinion.

I didn't reply to all of her texts. I replied twice with the same answer and then stopped replying.

I felt the same way, she is just trying to get me agitated because she knows that if she can push my buttons she is still in control. Unfortunately she can push my buttons, but I am getting WAY better at not showing her that she has pushed my buttons. This is key in my opinion.

Traffic forecast in your area is looking pretty congested around 4p. LOL (Just my sarcastic passive aggressive side coming out).


Seriously, don't take any of her BS personally. If this becomes a pattern, then address it with a boundary.

Enjoy you time with your children. Smile at W during exchange time and tell her "Have a great evening!" and sincerely mean it. While driving over there, forgive her, forgive her, forgive her some more. Be as calm and happy as humanly possible. Project that to her. Believe me, that works the best.