Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Moving on to the bright side part 20

Wayne would say as she starts to pursue more back off on your pursuit. She is doing more but I would not call it consistent. I actually think me reciprocating when she does initiate helps me but I am still not gushing my feelings all over her, texting every 2 hours, talking about R or future plans either. Our texting is actually pretty short in nature maybe 3 or 4 messages back and forth at the most with Sunday being a little longer. So i am reaching out a little more but it is certainly not multiple times a day giving a description of my every move.

The sex is really good and it is cool that she lives so close that I can swing over mid week for some fun. I do keep telling myself to just have fun and go with it.....I am still very much a work in progress on that front. I have definitely opened her up sexually and she is starting to share her feelings with me. She is a catch, maybe a Unicorn but me taking it slow is important to me. I dont feel any R pressure from her so I know I have more time to get comfortable.

I just need to stay in the moment

I don't know if this is good bad or otherwise - it's simply an observation and one I know I've made before... Since this all started it appears pursuit in all other woman has stopped. Yes you may have a profile up but you've not mentioned a single word about anyone else. Not saying you should or not just saying it's an observation and that all of your focus has been on the Doctor. Nothing wrong with that. It's just not again what I think the cinch suggests and clearly not what others here have suggested. Personally speaking I get it. It takes enough time for one woman, two or three can be very exausting.

I also think part of it is letting go......after a D all of us have built some walls up around us. Probably more than we realize with all the self talk, alpha male, red pill, etc.

It's not easy being vulnerable again.

I know.....I dont have the time nor money to date multiple women. I'm not that type of guy either.

im curious have you actually done it? Or do you tend to focus on a single woman which makes you think you are not that type of man?

1 or 2 dates no big deal but if I have been on multiple dates like with the dr I would not do it because I would not want the person to do it to me unless we had an understanding that the R was only sexual.

J,

Would you be mad if she was currently seeing other guys right now?

For me until she brings up being exclusive then I expect them to be seeing other people whether they are or not. That is just my feelings and opinion.

I wouldn't be mad probably disappointed. With that said if I felt the vibe of the R was that of her seeing other people or vice versa then I would have no problems with it. If that makes sense.

I would be surprised if she was seeing other men. Its almost like an unspoken rule in a situation like that. Personally, i find it hard to get to know someone if im dating a lot of people at once. I was never able to do that. I usually date 1 person and see if we are compatible. If not break things off.

I think whats happening is that the pursuit made you eager to go after her and court her. Now that the challenge is out of the way, your not as excited. If she backed off a bit and was more elusive, i bet you would regain your stronger interest and stop worrying about committment phobia. This is pretty universal though. Its why nicer and more normal drama free girls tend to not get appreciated. They decide to one day bake cookies for you and you dont feel challenged.

Kind of why Archie neglects the hot blond for the spoiled Veronica. It doesnt make sense.

I need to get out of my own head and just have fun with it. That certainly could be part of it because I remember how I
Elusive she was early on