As a typical HDM, I can tell you that your attitude determines how you look to us. As others have said, you have to feel good about you. Do what makes you feel good about yourself and you won't have to worry about how others see you. They'll see you as super-hot!
Another thing about men: we love those who make us feel good about us. Your guy telling you that losing weight and buying new clothes will make things better in bed is him saying that he doesn't feel good about himself. Don't get me wrong, I think it's ok to make those requests of a spouse. But why don't you make a few, too? Like, "I'll be glad to lose some weight and buy new clothes. How about you doing some reading on new techniques in bed at the same time? That way we'll both be better for each other."
You also have to be realistic enough to know if he's just making another excuse or making a legitimate request. He may be one that you can't please no matter what you do. (Speaking from experience on this one!) In that case, you still have to do what's right for you.
Btw, I've never seen a woman who wasn't beautiful in some way.
I am not saying that this is right or wrong, but the #3 need that the average male has on his list of needs is PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS. So for some men, the way you look is important.
I'm not saying that if a person gains 100 lbs that they shouldn't do something about it. What I am saying is in the real world a "barbie doll" figure isn't what most normal women have. If a woman carries herself with dignity and pride and dresses nice, clean and with style she can still be sexy, desirable and attractive. I need to loose some weight myself, but am told I am attractive and sexy.
Just saying my personal feelings on this are if you fall in love with someone and they happen to gain a little weight and that causes you to not desire them anymore then maybe you need to see what you really fell in love with to begin with. Was it the body or the whole package?
When you fall in love and get married, you are marrying the qualities of that person on that day. If you allow those qaulities to change, you are putting your marriage at risk. Now I believe that most people allow a little wiggle room her, gain a few pounds or wrinkles, so what. It is the MAJOR changes in our qualities that cause problems. That may be gaining 50 lbs, or wearing glasses instead of contacts, or getting flabby instead of toned, or changing from HD to LD. Now we are talking changes that the other spouse did NOT sign up for. Couples that change this drastically are in for trouble.
Quote: Honey, I love you, but really I would love it if you could get plastic surgery to make your penis bigger. I think that would be such turn on for me
After seeing your post, I Super-sized that power tool I ordered for you!
The #3 thing on his list of NEEDS is attractiveness? So the basics are food, oxygen, and attractiveness. All forms of life stop unless the woman looks like Cindy Crawford.
It may be #3 on an average guy's list of desires. But for heaven's sake, if a guy isn't attracted to a woman who loves you and wants you, he has some hang-ups he needs to get over. Stop looking at the magazines and stare lovingly into your wife's eyes.
