Thanks Steve85. Yes, my goal is to get to the bottom of the deleted texts. I'm trying my best to get me back. I can honestly say this is not easy, I feel as though I have hit rock bottom.
We've all been there. Rock bottom is a perfect description. Hitting rock bottom isn't the problem. How we react to it is. So react with power! Be strong! Make him regret ever considering leaving you! Be someone only a fool would leave!
You go this!!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I am sorry to hear about your sitch as well as the passing of your parents. The people here are great support network. I am glad you found this site. We have all been through similar sitch, Collectively we can guide you through this.
DR is your playbook. Do not let H know about it or this website. Clear browser history and use incognito mode.
I will reread thread and give my two-cents.
PS: I never snooped, but my X and one of my co-workers were "Just- Friends". This means they were having a secret affair.
The best thing you can do is ASSUME they have been intimate. ASSUME they are NOT TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I'm going to bring it up again in therapy to see if he will say.
Please do not bring this up. He will not tell you the truth. Again, what you need to do is counter-intuitive.
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He said he would give it some time and see what happens
You are plan B. Do you want to be plan B?
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and if I change.
I hope you change. Going through this process was the best worse thing I have done. You have been given a gift if you choose to take it. You do not see it. The personal growth I have went through since finding this website has been amazing. You will come out of this process in a much better place.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
The point is you can't control him. So don't try. Your goal is to detach to the point where no matter what he says or does, it no longer effects you emotionally. Easier said than done. BUT, so freeing once you get there!!
Steve is very wise.
The only person you can control is you. You can control how you respond.
We can predict almost everything H is going to say or do. We can give you insight on how to respond.
He wants you to change. Change is what he is going to get.
The only person you can change is you. How hard is that going to be? It is magnitude easier than trying to change someone else. Focus on you and set him free.
One of the first things that you should do learn is projecting that you are happily moving on without him. Like you had an AH-HA moment.
This is the thought process: "I get it, I don't know why I didn't see it soon. I don't want to be with someone who does not want to be with me" You tell him in your actions, not in your words.
I wish you well though this process and I hope you save your marriage.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Honestly, wonderful with our husband and he was wonderful helping with my parents. It's like something snapped. You'll think I'm crazy, but I know him well enough to feel nothing fully happened...I just don't want something to happen. We've only been to counseling 3 times and I'm told it gets better and the beginning sessions are the hardest. I'm done with excuses and he knows it and I'm working on me.
