Hi Ellie, Just popping by to see how things are going with you! Sounds like things are settling down a bit for you.
Glad your D is getting better and sounds like a great trip for you H and S to take. The down time is good. With my new relationship...I do actually like the 1-2 nights that I get to come home to an empty house--but then I also miss him so much when I do-- dual edge sword! oh well!
You've been an amazing and inspiring and generous and loving and hip and kicky mom -- someday write a book about how you helped her, and the world will benefit... It's a thought...
I've been doing well. Making progress, just not documenting it -- nice breather from analysis, I guess.
I think of U often -- "Hmmm, now what would Ellie do?..." and get stronger and stronger, knowing that peaks have been bagged and crashing waves surmounted.
Blue skies, blue waters to you. Enjoy a bit of solitude while your H is gone and (heh heh) maybe shop for a lacy little nothing for when he returns,, no?
Yeah I have that too at times.... My Therapist gave me another script for anti anxity though it was not ment for that originally but also helps with sleep too... Neurontin
It seems to help I guess the Lexapro can cause insomnia for me... though I can fall asleep right away, but I wake up like about 4 to 5 times during the night... interupted sleep pattern..
Well it is great that you have a very happy marriage it sounds like now.. I hope to get to that point down the road after I fix what is wrong with me...
Living one day at a time, life is ahead not behind Raven
Wanting A New Begining 2<===== CURRENT
Hi all - Well, H and S12 are back from Vietnam, they had a fabulous trip. H's new laptop arrived today and we all know that means I get his old one I am enjoying having H back, but nust admit, I really enjoyed him being gone too. Some of it is my innate introvert nature - I like my alone time - but I had a realization this last week that it wasn't really about that.
No, this time I think it was about the fact that I really enjoyed the break from H's negative energy. Don't get me wrong, my H has been and continues to be extremely loving to me. But his issues with people at work and his simmering resentments and his angst and his anxieties about various things - I realized how much energy I expend reacting to him still. It's exhausting! And it's really MY issue, because he's not asking me to soak up so much of his stuff, I just have trouble not letting it affect me - and it does affect me, keeps me from relaxing, keeps me from focusing on my interests, etc. It was so relaxing, to have a week of doing things on MY timetable, of focusing on my stuff. So I guess the challenge for me is to figure out how to maintain that now that he's back and not let myself sponge up all of his negative energies.
I did make a babystep in this regard as he was preparing for this trip, though. Even though he had scheduled himself off the day before departure, he ended up filling all that available time with an overnite trip with S12 and I to see some good friends (D13 and S17 had other commitments). Then he stretched out his errands on the day of departure until it was an hour before the car service was supposed to pick him up and he still hadn't packed his clothes. THEN he tells me he's going to run down the hill to the grocery store where S17 works and say goodbye to him before he packs!!!!! I finally put my foot down and said "look, you're really making me anxious here! Please, I really need you to finish your packing first and THEN if you have time you can go say goodbye to S17".
I know this sounds controlling, but it is actually a 180 for me to tell him he is affecting me and making me anxious by his behavior. The old me wouldn't have said anything and would have been more and more anxious and he would have been late and I would have been in a crummy mood as he was leaving. This way I was able to simply state that his behavior was making me uncomfortable, and he knew in his heart that I was right. So he packed first (more quickly than he would have otherwise) and still had 10 minutes to say goodbye to S17.
It's funny, really, because I always thought of my H as the more organized one by far, but as I get better organized myself, I see more of his disorganized habits.
D13 is doing so fabulously we actually forgot her psychologist appointment today! And when her therapist called and said she could talk to her on the phone instead - D said she really didn't need to talk to her! This, from my D who loves her therapist and who just a month ago was panicky at the thought of cutting back from weekly sessions to once every two weeks
Well, I'm off to do some more cleaning before H gets home tonight - he's working this evening and I want things to be nice for him when he does get home
Hi Ellie - I guess this is the end of late night postings I could relate to a couple of your comments
Quote: The old me wouldn't have said anything and would have been more and more anxious and he would have been late and I would have been in a crummy mood as he was leaving. This way I was able to simply state that his behavior was making me uncomfortable, and he knew in his heart that I was right.
Yup - this is something I'm slowly learning to do, in a non-confrontational manner. It is tough though, changing ingrained habits - but seeing them for what they are I guess the first step
Quote: It's funny, really, because I always thought of my H as the more organized one by far, but as I get better organized myself, I see more of his disorganized habits.
Yes, I can see this too. I can also see how I used to quietly tidy things up behind NG, and it was just taken for granted. Now that I'm no longer picking things up, NG seems to have less time to sit and ponder on life...
I enjoy your posts in the many threads you visit, Ellie. Thanks for your insights. Slowly
