Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Letting Go. Detaching. Done Engaging.

Did, you are going dark and N/C on each of your posts...

Free yourself. You are free...enjoy D4 and YOUR life! And tell that to the enemy over your shoulders: you are in charge of your own life now. You have the strength and you know that. No more rescue fantasies, no more unhealthy degrading cycles. Enough for you. You need to be healthy man!

Nothing will ever get better between you until things get better with yourself. Your actions should only be what serves you and not her at this point.

Take care of yourself. Your daughter needs a healthy dad, both mentally and emotionally.

And block her from social media .

Thanks all wish we could grab a bite in real life.

We are here with you man. Be strong!

Or a drink?

Did,

I'm just going to encourage you to be consistent, be disciplined, and don't get dragged into convos you aren't ready for.

What's the longest you've gone without talking to her? Going dark (only responding to direct questions, and even then as briefly as possible) and NC (not responding to anything or initiating communications) has helped me tremendously.

Now, I'm not the poster boy for DB'ing, but doing these things has given my W time and space to think she has lost me. She even said that last week. And I don't think your W has had to face that feeling ever before. It might be better for her to feel that, because if you guys really divorce, that's how it's going to be and by the time you finally let her feel that you may be moved on. So if you really love her and you really want to fix this, let her experience this loss and we'll see what she really wants in the end.

Happy New Year all! I have started working with a new coach and am continuing to make positive changes. Little to no contact with W. Talked for maybe a couple min in person the other day and shared some laughs. Minimal response from me in text. She has continued to send positive Instagram posts as direct message. We don’t follow each other. Just say thanks or ignore?

I’m feeling better and continuing to work towards living a life of passion and purpose. Committed to writing a book and coaching men on happiness, going to start a men’s divorce group. And work on changing the narrative of the fact that men have needs and we need to work on ourselves to meet our own needs. Not look outside of ourselves.

Thanks and all the best in 2019!

I'd just ignore the Instagram posts she's sending. There's no question there. In fact, I probably wouldn't even look at it, just clear the notification so that you aren't searching for a hidden message in there.

Glad to hear you're getting along better. Keep up the limited contact, and don't fall for any temp checks/small positive signs.

Agree with over. You went dark/dim...only urgent D4 related comunication. If not the case then silence.

Happy 2019 Did!
Keep DB man!

D4 fell and had bad gash in her head. I had her. Called w told her going to hospital to get stitches. She met us there. I didn’t say much to her focused on giving love and caring for D4. She’s ok after 14 stitches what a trooper. Few hours in hospital. W mentions she couldn’t be more hungover. Mentions drunk texted OM2 said she said dumb ass to him. Supposedly hasn’t talked to or seen this guy in months since before we were dating. Also mentioned guy she went on 1 date with a long time ago stationed overseas in military. She has mentioned this guy messages her a lot on Facebook. She said something about setting the tone w him that it was just friends. Etc. honestly it didn’t really affect me and do I want someone who has issues w drinking to go along w everything else. She showed me pic of her and her girlfriend she was out with along with her husband.

I worked 6-9p tonight and 8-11a tomorrow. After hospital w came to my house. Had to get D4 stuff etc. again my concern is D4. Made her favorite lunch etc. let her watch a movie on my laptop in bed and eat. Obviously a traumatic day for her and draining for all of us. W mentioned in hospital she’d kill for an apple. I gave her an apple. She laid with D4 in my bed. I stayed out of the room for the most part sat with D4 a little and fed her. No pursuit from me.

W made a few comments. Thanks daddy you’re so nurturing was seeming thankful. Obviously doesn’t mean anything.

I texted her a few hours later.

I hope D4 is feeling ok. Please do not tell me about other guys like army dude setting the tone. Or drunk texting om2 there is 0 reason to mention men to me ever.

You do it multiple times every time we see each other for more than a few min.

Thanks. Goodnight.

I’m really sorry. I apologize. didn’t want you to think I was like texting guys or something. There’s no excuse I’m sorry.

Me. Thanks I appreciate it.

W. You’re welcome. Thank you for today.

No response back to NC except D4.

How did I do? Feeling slightly more detached but I’m sure I fd up some. Thanks all cheers

Did, the unhealthy cycle is starting again...

Next time tell W you have started dating one of the Kardashians and you are going to appear on TV...then go dark again.
Let raise the stake...;-)