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H

Glad you had a nice dinner

Definitely plan the beach vacation

Why are you feeling guilty?

I am so sorry to hear of all of the fears your kids are dealing with! I hope that they are able to find comfort and reassurance with you. I also hope you get to take that beach vacation. I hope things improve for you in 2019.

Good Morning Hamburg

I understand you feelings of guilt. Do you see the manipulation from W, the using of the children.

Let go the guilt. It is just a feeling - let it flit - do not reenforce it.

Remain intellectual regarding this part, for atleast 11 more days. You know you need this court hearing. This is a business deal that went sideways. Keep emotions at bay - it is that important. Protect you and your kids.

Your kids need reassurance, and you are the best one to do that, perhaps the only one. Ensure they know they are not the cause for any of this. Kids are so focused on themselves, they feel everything in their lives is because of them.

job is right on spot - Keep the focus on you and your children. That is all that matters right now.

DnJ

Met with atty today. Temp orders trial is in 2 days. I feel prepared but it is difficult to process. He gave me worst case scenario (I think thats standard) and my heart sunk. On top of work and being sick I haven't seen the kids much over the past few weeks. I don't think W and I will see eye to eye on most of the orders and we have not spoken.

This is all surreal. I cannot believe I am part of the divorce statistic, but guess I had a 50/50 chance.

I'm staying strong but this is extremely difficult to maintain composure. The ability to see, hold, and play with my kids will be in the hands of a judge......

Hamburg

Not sure what you want exactly

But let us assume you want 50/50 custody

If that is the case you need to put your work in the backseat for now

Cut back on hours or change your schedule

Do whatever it takes

Talk to your boss

I never thought I could do make those changes

But the prospect of getting less than 50/50 woke me up

A lot of people here sent me messages just like this

And I said no way I could do that

And then I figured out a way

And now I see my kids more than ever

Think about it

Your kids need you more than they need money

More than you need a promotion

Or anything else

We meditated in the hallway of the courtroom.

I get expanded standard custody (close to 50/50) pay child support, mortgage and some other things for kids. She pays utilities and all her own bills (cc, phone etc). Financial advantage in my favor. She put up no fight for restraining order against her boyfriend to not be around kids. That part had us perplexed.

It was a weight lifted off my shoulders but reality set in later that we are one step closer to the end....

of the crisis.

The future is unknown and unwritten.

DnJ

I have to say she was very reasonable. I did not expect that at all. Especially the restraining order. We thought that would be a battle. Then we were shocked she agreed to pay her own way for some things.

You do sound calm. Interesting how amicable and reasonable she is being. Is this the first of a few mediation meetings before a legally binding agreement is reached?

It was temp orders. Mediation is in 3 months. That will be a chance to settle things unless it goes to court, which would be in december.