Read dear Abby today - there's a letter from a woman who had a MLC in her 30's, running around, H begged her but she wouldn't stop, so he divorced her and ended up remarrying. Woman realizes now, several years later, that she still loves H (and he has told relatives that he'll always love her) - BUT - he's married to this really nice woman so she can't do anything about it.
Made me think of so many people here on the boards who are trying to wait out their spouses MLC - for this very reason.
Ellie, Just to back up a few posts, I totally understand that you are the rock. My H has told me (and recently) that I am his stability. Yes, I too want to run, breakdown, scream,etc.
One of the other things I hear from him is that I'm "taking over." Ex: this was last said a week ago. When we returned from a week long ride, I wrote down all the supplies that need to be bought on a list. I mentioned, key word mentioned, that I could take the list to the store if he wanted me to get the supplies. I was told I was taking over.
I think JJ is on to something!!
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
Quote: Read dear Abby today - there's a letter ...
Made me think of so many people here on the boards who are trying to wait out their spouses MLC - for this very reason.
Sadly, Ellie, that very picture is what I keep seeing in my future and it saddens me terribly, so I don't want to go there, so I have no other choice but try to wait it out ... what other options are there?
Great week with D, I think her new higher Prozac dose (60 mg) is really starting to kick in. No cutting or purging for two weeks, her weight is back up to normal, I finally let her come to the gym with me this week and she was able to do so without getting obsessive. She still gets some urges but says it's much easier to ignore them now.
Sounds like things are really looking up for your D! I'm so glad to read of the progress.
I stopped by to say that what you wrote on Dominic's thread hit me in a deep place. Seemed not quite right to hijack his thread to say my thanks, but you clarified something for me that I've really been struggling with in my head-- the idea of someday wanting a child and wondering how I felt about the idea of H as a parent after all that has happened. When I read your words, I recognized some of my own feelings in there. Thanks so much.
I hope all continues to head upward for your D and your family.
Wonder - I've told this story before - that my H had a brief affair early in our marriage - I took him back but he never really worked out why he did it. 18 years later, when he had his depression/MLC/affair - my kids were devastated. And I felt SO guilty - because they were in this situation, in part, because I had stuck my head in the sand and charged ahead, having children with my H without questioning harder whether he was a good risk. I'd taken that risk - but my kids were having to pay the price.
Thank goodness things have worked out well for us - but they so easily might not have. I think the valiant things people do here to save their marriages are awe-inspiring - and when children are involved, I think you should pull out all the stops. But often my answers are different for yuoung couples who don't have kids yet but plan to have them in the future.
Wow. Ellie, that's quite a story. Thank you for sharing it with me. I've worked hard for my M in part because I really believe in my H. Since we don't have kids, a lot of people don't get this. But this question has pulled at me for a good while. (To have children or not was an issue we were dealing with at the time of the bomb, actually.)
