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I just hope I did not blow it by engaging in the back and fort texting

if I told you that you blew it, would it allow you to carry on living your life?

She is spending money on your credit card and wants you to pay her back? something is not right. You should be protecting yourself financially. you need to see about taking care of that CC issue asap. if you pay for it, she and whoever else will continue to use it.

Yep it sho is! Oh he!! No. Ah, please cancel your credit card. You are most likely going to have to pay, if not your credit score will be affected, so please cancel that card and don't use your text money to bail her out.

Keep going!!!

Yeah this is why we say not to share anything with mutual friends, because people love to gossip about relationship stuff and anything you say will quickly get telegraphed to your W. So if anyone asks about your sitch just tell them "yes we're having problems but we're working on it" and SAY NO MORE. If you need to vent or talk about it then do it here and/ or with friends that have no attachment to your W at all.



What was your reply? I wouldn't have replied at all, but I would have quietly canceled the card as Joe said. If it's your CC then you're going to be responsible for at least half the debt she puts on it if not all of it. As Adam said you need to protect yourself financially.

And Krull, you didn't blow it either.

So, I asked her a few days ago to sign our tax papers so I could file a joint return, since she lived with me for more than 10 months of the fiscal year and she was not working, I claimed her as a dependent, she ignored my texts and calls, last night she texted me "sorry, I was busy" and then she asked me for a copy of my tax return,since she ignored me I filed again just myself with no dependents, assuming she was going to ignore me as usual, doing that my return was way less than it was supposed to be, she texted me very late last night askin me to use the mibey from my return to pay for the credit card that she used, the card is mine she has no credit. I said, sorry those are my personal documents, I can't give you anything, please make payments on my card since you were the one that used it and max out on it. I was polite but firm.

All of this interaction has set me back, I was feeling a lot better, now I think that she is evil and she is trying to f@#% Me over in anyway she can, I don't think things are going to get better, all she wants is revenge.

Have you canceled the card?

Yes, I did, I still have to pay for it.

Why do I love somebody that is trying to destroy me emotionally and financially?

Why do I want to reconcile with her? I have played all my cards by the book and I see no results and it is actually getting worse

Good. Yes you do but at least you're limiting future damage.



Well, probably like most of us you love the person she used to be. The one that you married, that loved you unconditionally. That person has been snatched and a new person has taken her place. The new person wants nothing to do with you. You're probably clinging to the thought that if you hang on and keep loving her then the old person will resurface. She might, but it is going to take her a long time and during that time she wants as much distance from you as she can get. I'm almost 7 years post-BD and my ex has slowly over the last couple of years started acting more like her old self. So yeah, for 4 or 5 years she was the cold, seemingly heartless person I first met the day of BD. Then she slowly started being more like the woman I married. But she's still a much different person.



One of the sayings here is "it will get worse before it gets better". She's on a long journey and it will be a rocky one. Detach and give her room, it's all you can do.