The sharks are smelling blood in the water, are they? Yikes. Take care of you and your children first Hamburg. Give yourself time. Tempting to call one of those numbers, I’m sure, but I doubt anything good could come of it. At best, a distraction. Sad to hear about your W. She sounds very, very confused and sad. I hope she starts to figure things out. Best to you and your kids.
Sharks is an understatement. Not going to call any of them. I'm part of hospital administration and it would be disastrous.
I agree she is sad and confused. Only thing i can do is work on myself and focus on the kids. Oldest daughter (7) told me she is leaving then at drop off daycare all weekend while I'm at work. Sad.
Think about your energy-the so called sharks will sense that you are unavailable if your energy says that It is helpful to know that we can still be attractive in the single world-but let it go at that- let your energy signal be for friends only=-
New R distractions could be dangerous for a LBS this early on
You are doing well- I see a definite shift in your energy here Being available for your kids will bring the best benefit for your family- and you
this will buy you the time needed to Heal healing has to come b4 anything else then doors will open and close will little effort
Your W will have the best chance as well to find herself and I do believe they must remember or see that we have supported them and loved them even through their unacceptable behavior we have done our part- maybe their chances of a recovery later on will be better for them- so they can at least be an available parent
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Just logging the day to day stuff. Its therapeutic.
Long day at work. Thank goodness this flu season is not so bad here. Tend to get a nervous feeling on the drive home. Came home and wife looks very upset and down. She has obviously been crying. Saw her briefly this morning but did not say anything to her....just left for work. Didn't say anything about her coming home at 4am. Talked a little when I got home, was cordial. Played with kids, bathed them and read books. Xmas tree is up. Usually wife dazzlingly decorates a 10 ft tree. This year just did a 5 ft for the kids. Kids wrote some items they want and we gave to the elf on shelf. Despite what's going on there is something so magical about this time of year. Praying I get the strength to pull through this season.....for the kids.
You handled Monday perfectly. Yes, I agree, this time of year can be so magical not only for the kids, but for adults as well.
As for your wife, she's having some down days and the pity party has been playing in her head. To be perfectly honest, they go through period of crying, sulking, putting on that happy face and puffing up w/confidence. You never know who you are going to see when you come into a room.
Sounds like you are detaching a bit more and focusing on the children and you. That's wonderful! Keep it up!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
There is definitely something magical about Advent -- hope, joy, it's real! Keep giving that to your kids! They will be able to always remember how their dad was a rock during a dark period when their mom went crazy. They will be grateful to you and they will learn how to be strong in crisis. They will learn forgiveness and love by watching you. You are doing great, so much better in what you described about your being home and doing your thing. Get each kid an extra special ornament or make one with them, they will love it.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
Another busy day at work. Still nervous when coming home. W had crazy eyes again but not confrontational. I continue to show respect and be humble but upbeat. Tonight I finish prep to meet with Atty tomorrow. I have a case that will demolish her. It's what I have to do in order to get the kids.Going to present evidence I have and take 7-10 days before pulling the trigger. Despite the pain shes caused this family I have a big heart and it is difficult to do it this way. We made eye contact a few times tonight and I can tell she's in pain. It hurts me to see her this way. That's why I am taking time with this. I looked at an apartment and a new level of reality hit. I put myself in her shoes, no job, no income, no place to live and realized she is not only facing her inner demons but these things too. I'm in a non alimony state and she will be struggling. It is a big pill to swallow.
Hamburg, there is very little chance you are going to get sole custody of the kids, and doing so would likely not be good for any of you. Please listen to your attorney tomorrow and remember this is the children's mother. If you are correct, she will struggle enough financially and be forced to face her consequences as a result of her own actions, which is the far better just deserts.
I personally have a hard time with someone who describes himself as respectful and humble and says it hurts him to see her suffer and then says he will demolish the mother of his children. I told my H that I would not be the first to launch any harmful blow, that I would only defend myself and the children in response to actions he takes. I've only had to stand up twice and got what was right both times.
I sleep very well at night knowing that I am not adding to my children's pain and wasting our money harming someone who very clearly has major issues. Nothing you do to her will compensate anyone for the pain she has caused, it will simply result in more harm for everyone. In the end you will do what you will do, but it does not have to result in a Pyrrhic victory.
Even 50/50 (which is what I want) will be difficult. This is the route he has already said we must go in order to get that. I would love to have them 2 weeks per month. I know I couldn't handle full custody.
