Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers A new mindset for Burned. This is thread 7.

^^^this. I need to understand this. Because on the surface all of her actions are just things you would do to get away from your H. But there's just this weird sort of flavor to it that feels manipulative, or confused, or ambivalent, or hostile. I really just don't know if that's all in my head. And the minute I catch myself missing her, I remind myself that this version of her is just atrocious. But THEN I doubt THAT and start thinking, well, she's not THAT atrocious, she is saying polite things as she slowly bleeds me out. It's like she wants me to vanish, but she wants to hurt me first. And again, somehow I can't figure out if that's in my head or if that's her goal or if I'm reading too much into it or if everything everyone else said was right, that she's a manipulative martyr who has such a hollow sense of self that this is the ONLY way she can cope.

It's crazy making.

I can not claim to be an Alpha male, but I can claim to be a dominate male.

If I found out my woman was having an affair with another man, I would not be happy about it, but I would not tolerate one part of it. I would happily help her pack her stuff up and send her out the door to be with OM. I would file for D. Anyone asks, I would reply "It ran it's course."

I would make it absolutely clear that she is not welcome back. "I will not share my woman with any man" "I do not want to be with a woman that does not want to be with me"


IF SHE started begging be to take her back, I would be very hesitant and first insist on a "I am ending all contact text,email,letter"....lots more I would do, but that is where I would start.