H"W, I plan on taking the kids to the zoo (or lunch, or fishing, or whatever) on Sat from 9 to 5. If this does not work for you, let me know what time does."
If she shows a pattern of trying to limit access to your kids, then you can deal with that.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
What do you mean “not an option”? Just because it’s something she wants?! What do you want? What are you willing to fight for? What does your LAWYER say? Next, she may say that she wants 100% of your assets and tell you anything less wasn’t an option - doesn’t make it true.
yeah, it doesn't matter that she flat out refused. What does the law say? Maybe you should read about Nice Guy Syndrome. You can't nice her back. You have a say in how this goes. She will not respect someone with a noodle for a backbone. This isn't to say you should refuse everything, in a nasty way. Be polite, but stand up for your rights, and what you want.
"You want this divorce, not me, but there's nothing I can do to stop you. I think we can make this marriage work. Divorcing has consequences, and one of them is that we share 50/50 custody of the kids."
Right now, she's living this fantasy where everything goes her way. Part of your job is to help her realize she can't have her cake and eat it too.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
Yes thanks good advice. I think I will go for 50/50 custody, spent today with them and made me realise more than ever. Positive thing today took both kids to see my mother, none of us had seen her for 7 years. All three were so happy. It made my day.
That sounds like an awesome day. GALg with kids is just as important as GAlg on your own. Foster your relationship with them, protect them as much as you can from the damage D will cause. They will remember that you were there for them when they are older.
Yes my case is totally hopeless I am afraid. Wife has bought two books on divorce for kids to read, has taken all pictures down of me and cannot be civil at all to me in any way unless it's about the kids. The biggest shock to me is how much hatred and bitterness she has towards me. It was her who asked for the divorce not me. Her attitude does make it easier for me to detach though.
Hatred and bitterness shouldn't be a surprise. People rarely file for D without those two emotions. In my mind, this is actually good news. If she was showing indifference, that would be bad, but she still cares enough about you to put the effort into hatred and bitterness.
Good for you for taking the kids to Grandma.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
Hatred and bitterness shouldn't be a surprise. People rarely file for D without those two emotions. In my mind, this is actually good news. If she was showing indifference, that would be bad, but she still cares enough about you to put the effort into hatred and bitterness.
Good for you for taking the kids to Grandma.
Hadn't considered that, maybe there is hope then but I have low expectations. Just detaching myself now. We are also waiting for a date for my 8 year old to have heart surgery, I just hope she gets rid of all anger before then as her operation is more important than anything else.
