Haha. Thank you. I haven't had time to read a word. Been trying to make some extra money just in case and pay off all my debt. (About $1,000). Getting my ducks in a row.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
I have another question aside from the handling her attitude and FIL wanting to talk to her about finances.
Since I don't call, text or initiate conversation with W, we have been double duty stuff. We both bought coffee when we were running low, both got cash out for a football game, both arranged chores in the car at the same time, and she arranged for the cans on the side of the house to be taken in when I already arranged borrowing a truck to do it. Of course, this is upsetting both of us. I'm trying to avoid arguments but the emotions are visible.
I know it hasn't been that long but I don't want my daughter to learn that a healthy relationship has no love being shown by either parent.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Doubling up on things used to be a pet peeve of mine. I used to "yell" (not really but she took it as such) at my W "let me know when you get dog food so I don't stop and get it too!"
On BD she pointed out to me two things. A) I could always call her before buying DF to avoid doubling up. B) Even more importantly nothing that we doubled up on would go to waste! I've since 180'd on that.
Look at the ones you are complaining about. The coffee will eventually get consumed, will it not? Double withdrawals, one can be redeposited. Call the person loaning you the truck and say than you no longer need it.
Stryk I can see where you are going with this. "Shouldn't I be contacting her more, initiating more communication to avoid stuff like this? The answer is no. Just deal with it, it isn't a big deal.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve, lol. I knew that's what people would think. Haha
The anger is coming from her. Like the posts before, she is getting very easily annoyed. I'm staying busy, taking care of daughter without her help or input, etc.
W buys the expensive coffee by the cup daily. I make coffee at home and I normally get cash out on gameday. It's almost like she is trying to start arguments. Maybe i should have said all that. Lol
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Her getting angry isn't necessarily a bad thing, and you don't know what's causing it. She might be very fearful if you are actually detaching a bit. To cover up her pain, or deal with the sadness, people often lash out. So maybe she's doing it b/c of that. I don't know, you don't know. But maybe. Either way it doesn't matter that much.
If she is copping an attitude with you, you don't need to stand for that. And you can say that. But don't say it over and over to where it's an argument every day. Would you let a woman you were just dating treat you like garbage? Deal with it the same way.
Don't get sucked into an argument. Would you argue with the store clerk who is acting like a turd? The disgruntled clerk is probably taking it out on the wrong people and for similar reasons as your W - they aren't happy with everything in their life and how it is going. So don't make it worse! Be the lighthouse.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
What is this lighthouse I keep seeing on the forum posts?
W came home like everything was all good. Went to the game tonight and she tells me she HAS to go work the concession stand tomorrow for baseball tomorrow! I don't say anything. Although this is a different team than the notorious baseball coach, he will be there.
D and I will spend some alone time together. Son will be at the game too. He doesn't know he is the nexus for the two seeing each other regularly.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Having an angry day. Frustrated due to a conversation with our son. At dinner last night, son was talking about college in 2 years. About moving, what he will need and what we will need to buy. He asked if we (W & I) would be going to help him move if we would fly back or drive. If we would visit a lot. W explained to him that he won't need to get much as a freshman and only need things we could buy there.
Son started talking about W and I doing stuff when he's gone. I played along and so did W. The whole conversation ate at me the whole night. I don't like living like a roommate. I feel like I'm being put in a position of choosing to be in a loving relationship and being with my daughter more.
Just so frustrating!
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
