Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers waw maybe #4

Thanks Maika, yes living life to the fullest. This weekend will be great, so many events planned!

Thank you for looking in on my sitch.

Journaling:

Busy next few days, taking D19 back to college tomorrow. We will pack the truck and leave at about 6am. She wants to get breakfast on our way and after we get there and unload she wants to go grocery shopping. I am looking forward to spending this time with her. Driving home, then seeing D24 who will be coming home for the weekend.

D24 and I will get dinner on Friday night, she is a vegan and I told her I would go vegan for the night but need some pasta. We are running a 5K on Sat. morning. But wait theres more....

So after the 5K we are going to make lunch and she will help me fine tune my roast on Sat night. We will have about 30-40 people at my cousins party and I really cant wait to roast him. But wait theres more....

After the birthday party at about midnight I am going to my friends block party which goes until about 5am, I will not stay that late but will spend a few hours there.

The next day is a big family bbq which we have every year and is a lot of laughs. We eat great food and play games for about 6 hours. This is a great way to see family... I am blessed...

I then have work on Sunday night, but I think I will be just fine bc this will be a great weekend.

Journaling:

Busy and fun all combined, I have not had a weekend like this is years!

Started out on Friday morning by taking D19 back to college, we loaded the truck (W tried to help, didnt want her help) stopped and get breakfast and off we went. No traffic, easy ride got to the college and moved right in no delays whatsoever... her roomate who is her BF helped move us in... laughing and joking the whole time. After moving in we went grocery shopping then out to eat, loved spending time with just her, she thanked me for helping her and I said YW anytime. A beautiful day, and D19 was very happy things went so easy.

Got home around 8pm D24 was home for the weekend we had originally wanted to go out to eat but I was too tired and D24 allergies were acting up so we skipped dinner. We were supposed to run a 5K sat morning but D24 bailed on it bc she really couldnt breathe so we thought it would be best to pass and decided we would do another one later in the year.

Sat afternoon, I went running on my own and then went to work completing my roast for that night. I was a little anxious hoping that my jokes would work. I got to the venue about an hour early to help set up. I did not drink for the first hour or so then I had a couple of beers as people were showing up. I was told I would be going on at 10pm, I said great. Well all I can say is it was a huge success, I had the crowd from the first joke and it just gained momentum from there. It went on for about 6-7 minutes...I loved every seconded of it. When it was done 4 people asked if i do this for a living, I said no i just wanted to have some fun with my cousin. Then, I could not believe it but one of the nicer looking ladies would not stop talking to me. Pretty nice getting that attention... GAL works!

After the party I went to another party from about midnight until about 6am, talk about fun... wow. I spent most of my time with one lady friend who really wants to date me so we just flirted around with each other. All in good fun, she knows I am not ready to date.

Woke up and 12pm... a little hung over but ready to go to our annual family bbq. There is really no drinking at this event and there are a ton of games we play. So good seeing everyone. Good food, good people...great fellowship.

Many will say I did the wrong thing but I did ask W if she wanted to go to the bbq she abruptly said "NO I'M GOOD"... I said ok and went to the bbq with D24 and S21. When I got home she was all about questions, how was the bbq? What kind of food? What games did you play? Oh you look like you got some color... then offered me some brownies that D24 made.

Still here... She can no longer affect me emotionally. I chose to be happy too!

Updating:

W has moved out and did not tell anyone. Just sent a text to S21 that she was going to her mothers and has not been home for three days and took all her clothes.

S22 is not happy at all, I tried to explain to him that everything will be ok, he wants me to keep the house. I said we will be discussing everything.

D19 away at college doesnt know anything and I told the two boys do not tell her right now. I do not want her to feel stressed at school.

I am off to the gym, going to try a 5 miler today.

I have plans to go to the social club this weekend as i am off for three days.

All is good, peace...

Sorry to hear that BH! Sounds like you are taking it in stride though, and you handled it well with your kids so well done! I love how you didn't miss a beat with your GAL activities

Thank you AS, I always appreciate you commenting on my thread. You have helped so many on this site. GAL is the key for me. Funny she just text son that she will be coming home in a few days. I still have no idea/clue what she is doing, nor do I care.

It sounds like you are doing fine, likely the only person she is hurting with this indecision is herself and her relationship with the kids. How is your training going? The 5k my son and I are doing is tomorrow, bright and early.

Hello H, yes training is going great I am at 17 miles this week with a long run today, maybe 5 miler today. Please post your time for your 5K. I think it is great you are running with your son.

I feel so much relief that she moved out, she couldnt even tell me though.

Journaling:

Great few days, stayed home saturday and just watched TV, it was good I thoroughly cleaned the kitchen and boy did it need it. We have a really nice kitchen but over the years there was a lack of upkeep.

Worked Sunday night and was of Monday (Labor Day) and went to a house party. As usual it was alot of fun. Many laughs, a few beers. I work the next 4 nights then I have plans to go to the social club sat. night. I took two days off from running as I needed to get some things done. grocery shopping, changing the locks etc etc.

No contact with W at all and I absolutely refuse to text or call her. She did finally tell her mother and her mother is very upset and started crying. I know this bc SIL61 (W's older Sister) told me. MIL called SIL61 and was crying on the phone. MIL asked my W why? W stated that she was done taking care of everyone and didnt want to sleep on the couch anymore. She said she was embarrassed that her children saw her sleeping on the couch. So my W has moved in with her mom and older brother he is 62.

W also attempted to re-fi the house using my credit, amazing how she really just doesnt get it. Of course they called me to let me know. She applied for the re-fi on Aug. 13th... now if you have been following along this is the date she would not meet with the two L's and me. She was afraid. So she applied for the loan the same day, she must have eally been distraught....lol....

S21 called his grandmother to ask if his mom was there and she said yes, my S21 then said ok. MIL asked if he wanted to speak with her and he said no she knows my number. He is feeling like she not only left me but also him and the family. The reality is starting to hit, but I think she finally sees that I am completely done... I am not chasing you I am replacing you!!!

Jouranling:

Having a good week running, trying to balance a low carb diet and exercising is a challenge. Staying hydrated is the key for me.

So I gave the kids keys to the front door, we have never locked our house. We live in a nice area and only recently there have been some break-ins so we are now locking the doors. Of course W tried coming in when no one was home and didnt not have the current key. The lock was changed about 1.5 years ago as we replaced our door knob. The only text I got was "I came to the house did you change the lock"? I never answered. She has not contacted our two sons at all and they are not happy. D19 has been in contact with her and does not know W moved out.

I am going to the social club tonight, have a couple beers and play some darts. Tomorrow will be cleaning day as I have now seen how bad this house was getting after W decided she was going to move out.

Oct. 15th my S21 graduates from his academy and he doesnt know if he wants to ask his mom to come. She has made him feel awkward. I told him to invite her and let her decide. Even though he is an adult I can see how this is adversly affecting him. It will take work to get through but it can be done.

I have an extremely busy 3 weeks coming up with work, then will take a 3 day weekend and go to the country for a little R&R. I am currently trying to hire more help but finding it near impossible.