would just like to seek advice with regards to saying my piece with her. so i told her that i won't be friends with her, because real friends dont cheat, lie, abd disrespect each other. and she comes back to me with a reply, that it maybe so, and saying that i pushed her to have the affair because i wasnt there during one of her saddest days, thats whenthe dog died, and of course POS came to the rescue. another thing she said was that she didnt really feel forgiveness after catching her on my bed with POS. saying i was just bullying, mocking and vindictive towards her. as ive said , after i caught her , her life will change, i have to ask her q's about her days and who she hangs ouy with, and she considered that bullying. i guess my question is, do i validate this concerns of her or do i just let it go?
and shes still insistent that i exposed D13 to the "adult issues", because D13 read some messages on my phone, regarding POS. wherein she was already asking D13 to lie for her , prior to me discovering her A and D13 seeing my messages. do i respond/validate these issues?
I don’t know about anyone else and thoughts on what age is appropriate, but after a few months I had to give some info to my S14 about what was going on. He noticed and was being affected by WW absence from the home and iradic behavior. I asked WW multiple times that we needed to speak to S together and she only chose to involve him when I filed for D the first time and when we were waiting for police after an outburst that she had. Both times were to place blame on me for what I was doing.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
thanks lost. actually D13 has a lot of information with regards to whats going on.WW told her that she is moving on with POS. But, WW blames me on why D13 acts indifferent towards her. D13 just , and am using the word HATE, so much. yet, amd being blamed for it. That am using D13 against her. WW doesnt talk to her, doesnt come home for days, and when shes home, puts no effort in communicating with D13. I am left to take care of D13, deal with her emotional issues and hurt , anger feelings towards WW. When WW shows up at D13's IC, D13 feels very upset, knowinv that after the session, or whatever advice the IC gives WW, its out of the door after the session. Frustrating!
You pushed her? Ahhhhh, so it's all Toenail's fault is it? Which absolves Mrs. Toenail from all wrongdoing it seems. Well, now that her hands are clean, it's time for Toenail to atone for his misdeeds.
And she didn't feel forgiveness after being a cheating #$%!??? She deserved a slap right across the face when she said that. I'm not advocating getting physical, but my blood is boiling reading this.
You can't stand for this disrespect any longer. She had a dude on your bed and then told you she doesn't even give a damn that she did it. Tell her she is scum and leave her lying, cheating ass to sit alone next time. Or go to the OM's house for all you care. Her BS will catch up with her when you stop enabling her.
And as for D13, she told D13 in the first place right? So it's on her. Don't let her put it on you. Be firm, but don't argue incessantly about it. She will most likely continue to keep heaving the blame on you, just tell her politely that's not true and you aren't going to continue to engage her on that subject.
You don't validate any of her lies and BS. Only her feelings.
You are really going to have to toughen up, this woman is running roughshod over you.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
thanks ovrr.i think you need to detach from Mrs. toenail. she’s getting to you😂. Yup, that’s what she said, i was always vindictive and bully towards her because of my questions after the fact i forgave her. Nope, no comms with her equals no arguments. the only reason i asked if would help to validate what she’s yapping about. an 2 paragraph STFU/KISS. Same thing i tell D13 as what youve said. We need to be tough, we need to be better than her. No need to be better than POS. We can kill a puppy and we’d still be a better person, i mean human than it.
WW been off work for 2 days. Note even a peep was said to D13. Thi wall separates them, since WW got kicked out of MBR. Just wondering how she can handle not communicating with D13. According to D13, she doesn’t care. Went mountain biking with D13. Netflix and chill.
went out and spent the football sunday with D13 at a family friends place. Always nice being outside the house and talking to rational people. Today was a good day!
update... WW hasn’t been home for a while. Bills need to be paid and she hasn’t throw in her share. I can afford it for a couple more months by myself, but after that, I have to fin another option. told WW that i will rent out the extra BR and make $ out of it. She said no, she’s worried about D13’s safety, even though she doesn’t come home. It’s just funny to see how she’s all worried about her and yet she hasn’t even tried to talk to her in months. And of course i would not jeopardize D13’s safety. should I ask her directly for the share of the bills, or do I just do it myself.
