Spent the day feeling paranoid, second guessing myself, but the more I thought about it I still feel the same way. If my H was having an affair, its bad timing. He left yesterday morning took a 5 hr flight then when he got to his destination, we both had to get on a phone call with our son at boarding school for an hour and a half, then we talked a bit after that and then he texted me for my ss so he could do our taxes. He’s on a flight now coming back, none of this seems out of the ordinary. I know who this girl is that he was on the plane with and my intuition says nothing there. She acts the same way every time I see her...nothing weird about her demeanor, seems genuine when she says Hi.
I truly appreciate any wisdom from the people who have been here longer than I, but I think im trusting my gut on this, will let you know if any red flags come up.
If he had something to hide, he'd be sloppy at hiding it, like most wayward spouses. Most think they are quite clever but are so caught up in their affair to hide things well. Some are better than others.
If nothing else, I wonder if he was trying to create confusion and jealousy in you. We'll see where it goes.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
If he had something to hide, he'd be sloppy at hiding it, like most wayward spouses. Most think they are quite clever but are so caught up in their affair to hide things well. Some are better than others.
If nothing else, I wonder if he was trying to create confusion and jealousy in you. We'll see where it goes.
This is true, but usually as the A progresses they get sloppy. Early on they are very careful about covering their tracks.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I am calling her place of employment to see if she is there, my husband said she was on her way to Brazil, and had connnecting flight in NY. He came home last night and initiated cuddling. Thank you for youre thoughts on this, I truly appreciate it. I dont think he was trying to create confusion, we both know this girl and have been friendly with her and I’m pretty sure she has a boyfriend. But I will let you know what I find out!
You may be right Sansa. But nothing you said (being friendly with both of you, having a BF) would preclude the possibility of an affair. We LBSs have a knack for being in denial about things because it is easier on our psyche to NOT believe the truth. Your reasoning (she is friendly to me, she has a BF) sounds like you are trying to convince yourself as much as convincing us.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
No luck getting a hold of her at work, went straight to VM. My sister and I r out to town visiting my elderly parents so I may check myself when we get back tomorrow. If I see her I can innocently ask her how her trip to Brazil was and comment on what a short trip it was...if I see her.
I’m on chapter 4 of DR book. I am going to try to sign my H and I up for a cooking class maybe with some friends joining us.
Just wanted to say, thank you all for you’re input, I would rather now the truth about possible A, instead of living a lie. As painful as that would be. I have a close friend who works with my H, part of me wants to confide in her and maybe to have her spy on H, but maybe that is a bit juvenile.
