If he starts to argue with you then just agree with him. "You are right, I see how you feel. It's not working for me either." That's how you stop the drama.
So is this: "I want a H that does not act like he is single"
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
the mistakes we make (as parents/LBSs) is thatwe don't anticipate what our (child/cheating spouse) is likely to do orsay, and to PLAN AHEAD OF TIME how we are going to handle it. Instead,we get caught up in the anger of the moment, and we REACT -- usually,poorly, and unproductively.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
The delivery of a truth dart needs to be calm, firm and cordial rather than curt, rude or demanding. An irritable tone may drowned out the meaning of your words so that your message goes unreceived.
Truth darts aren’t criticisms, complaints, insults or rants and they shouldn’t be confrontational, but sometimes they hurt.
I like this one: Honorable spouses don’t leave by adultery.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
You do not apply for divorce from the bar. He's lying. As you said yesterday, he knows how to push your buttons. Time and space is what brings WAS to their senses.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve. It's funny how WAS/WW demand space for them selves. But in a lot of cases they don't seem to take it. They cling on somehow. And when LBS finally makes the space, they get mad. That just shows how messed up things are.
Last edited by petri; 08/31/1810:45 AM.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
"We both know that is not true" "Until you speak the truth, I see no reason to continue speaking with you"
These are very helpful. I am going to write these down. I found myself last night scrolling through here looking for ways to validate and i couldnt find anything fast enough.
These will be used for sure, thank you so much. Truth darts as well, I have to work on my delivery.
Steve, I certainly hope you are right that he is lying about the divorce, I cannot get past it. He is SO angry with me for making him leave the house, but the minute he leaves he files for divorce. I know he says he wants to be here bc of our daughter, but if you file for divorce the day after being kicked out, then why are you THIS angry with the W for doing it? It makes no sense.
Petri, what youre saying seems to ring true. I have given him all the space in the world for a while now, its never enough. When I finally let him go he seems angry about it. But it also gets confusing bc of our daughter and he blurs the lines of if hes upset over not being here with her or if it actually affects him to not see me. I think right now its all about our daughter, but I certainly hope one day he sees that he might actually miss me a little too. But an instant divorce like he would like to have isnt really going to allot for that.
Feeling super down. Reliving all our memories in my head. How is he filing for divorce when we havent even experienced what truly living apart and coparenting will be like?
He has even told me in the past that maybe getting his own place and us living apart will end up bringing us back together, and here he is filing for divorce.
