Bets, you are good! Thanks for reminding me to cross that bridge when I come to it.
wonder,
Quote: I needed something to chew on this morning, something that would get my compassion flowing again and something that would help me in my own journey forward. (went to a brewing party last night, that helped too, LOL )
That makes two of us Altho its midnight when I reading this) . So wonder, are suggesting that throwing back a cold one helps gettin it flowing again better than chewing?
Yes. Let's cross that bridge when we get there. H came off his planet today to send me an impersonal email. That seems maybe a smoke signal from the bridge? But not the bridge itself.
Quote: I'm going to suspect the same motive for your H... I don't have any answers on how to reassure your H or mine. But I do know that being compassionate and verbally reassuring him that I will not play judge is what is absolutely vital.
I suspect the same too. Here's my complication... I DID play judge and jury in the past, though not nearly as well as the hanging judge H plays himself. While I stopped that some time back and he does know that (he's said it-- much like Mr. W, he said he knows I can probably forgive him and get past it, but could he ever forgive himself and move beyond it). I can also understand his hesitation and fear of being judged. Sometimes I get impatient with this because I pay very little mind to who might be judging me... because I know how I feel about me. Learning patience with others on this front has been a big growing experience for me.
And then there is the issue of what I want and how maybe that has changed given the present circumstances.
Quote: So wonder, are suggesting that throwing back a cold one helps gettin it flowing again better than chewing?
I am most definitely suggesting this, but I still prefer a good glass of wine. Sometimes, you need to kick back and have some fun...or at least I do!
Figured since I'm not getting my work done today, I might as well post an update...
H came out of the dark this week with a business email, then a friendly passing along something email of the type he usually sends when attempting to reconnect with me. Impersonal way to do it, but it's what he does.
Then within 24 hrs. he called me at work (!) with an odd question...he heard I was having computer problems and looking at new ones... wanted to know what was wrong, etc. This information isn't true--I'm not looking for a new one and the only problem I'm having is one he's known about for 6 months.
I was friendly -- I was just me. He was all chatty and friendly and offering maybe he could come take a look at it, if I needed advice on computers, here's what he would buy, etc.
Then he launches into big long and a nearly entertaining if it weren't so expensive discussion about SUV repairs gone awry. It was a pleasant light conversation. By now, there are people lining up near my desk with projects... so I tell him I need to go.
Hmmm. What does one do with that? Well, I was just myself, and myself was rather DB-like that day. The call threw me-- was not at all expecting it. But after mulling a few things over, well, I now feel perfectly fine. There's nothing I need to do with it.
I'm on a good road, so I'm not going to analyze what he's doing or why right now. I finally feel really good with that.
He knows how to be in my life if that's what he wants. This is my magic show, and I get to run the auditions.
Quote: Sounds like some good exchanges with the H there. Good that there's no expectations and that your road is paved with the bricks of self content.
How well put. Thanks! I am feeling self content... and I'm not having a clue what to expect, so that makes having none pretty easy, huh?
Quote: Could he be sensing a very detached wonderful person? You're so smooth!
Well, I was surprised at how comfortable it was to talk to him--so maybe I am there now?
But afterwards I really had to mull it over before I felt smooth again... lucky for me, I have so many wise people in my corner.
Thanks for reminding me to cross that bridge when I come to it. 
Sometimes, you need to kick back and have some fun...or at least I do!
Now how is it I got the impression you're a west coast DBer?! 
