Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Detaching / Dbing... Can I get to Piecing?

D......why do you give your wife money each month?

I agreed to pay support as we were starting the mediation process 2 months ago as we sold our house and split finances. I was still hoping to R but felt like mediation / divorce was the only option because she didnt want to work on the M. Then after she moved out had her own place she started showing signs of wanting to spend time together... which still hasnt happened its been 2 months. Im just going to try to detach emotionally further and pull away more. I definitely am less attached than I used to be but still not fully.

We live in an alimony state. If we divorce the support Ive paid will count as alimony and support already paid. It would probably be about 1.5 years that I would have to pay alimony based on a 5 year marriage. Ill always have to pay child support unless she makes close to as much money as me. W stopped working to be a SAHM.

Probably going to do my own birthday party for D3 - Aug 20 she turns 4. Not doing happy family BS. W and I havent talked about plans for her birthday. I bought her a bike last night and have stuff for a little party.

W has said stuff like we can always help each other and she has been very flexible with schedule based around my work. If she starts working I will try to be flexible with schedule. But otherwise Im done being helpful nice guy. She can get mad, whatever. Im going to do my thing and I want respect and attraction. Im a great dad, a successful business man with a great reputation. She can climb back aboard or live her own life.

Upcoming beach trip I leave Thursday. A friend of mine opens a waterpark just for friends and family Saturday night. W said she doesnt want to drive down Sat in traffic... Im going to say I want D3 to come and have her overnight... W will not be invited to waterpark. Previously I had said I dont want to make it harder for them... NGS to the fullest. If she will bring her great. If not whatever at least I am doing what I want and trying to get my needs met.

Going to embrace the change. Do what works. Keep the advice coming, thanks!

Could she support herself financially if you did not give her support?

She got 45k from house sale which we split 50/50. She has no income since she hasnt started working. Says she plans on starting her business and knows steps / costs associated. Sometimes I wonder if she will ever start the business if we will get back together. Outside my control so I try not to put much thought into it.

So she has no money outside of the 45k? Did you agree to give a certain amount of money each month or does she just ask for it?

We agreed on $2325 per month which is Rent plus $1000 for support

Her car was falling apart and needed work and she made the decision to put 15k of her 45k into a new car. She has a $200/mo payment. Yes that is all the money she has.

If she had 45k I definitely would not have agreed to give her an additional $2300 a month. If you had not agreed to it what would she have done?

We would of gotten divorced. We were in mediation to do that.

He agreed prior to separation. Sold the house I think with the logic that he couldn't afford it and to pay support. Still I think it was all a bad move but by time he showed up here all that was in the works.