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SteveLW #2804233 07/30/18 09:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Steve85
Self control is a huge part of DBing. Without you almost certainly will not do it well.


That is a great comment Steve.

black8 #2804256 07/31/18 12:07 AM
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Also, should I pay more money for activities or day care than what I have to by law, now that she filed? I think the fact she has a steady stream of funding is enabling this behavior. She works part time and has parent support, so I think if she wants this single mom life, she can go work full time and not get more money from me. Thoughts?

black8 #2804299 07/31/18 12:08 PM
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On support I would consult an attorney.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
black8 #2804409 07/31/18 06:25 PM
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So how would you recommend I respond to the entitlement mentality of having to now her finding other accommodations?

black8 #2804418 07/31/18 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted by black8
So how would you recommend I respond to the entitlement mentality of having to now her finding other accommodations?


"You are more than capable of finding and booking your own accommodations."


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
black8 #2804645 08/01/18 09:21 PM
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Thank you, Steve. Any advice on how to extend the clock now that she has filed? I had to respond with my attorney by law but now I think she will push this along.

black8 #2805056 08/04/18 03:39 AM
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A positive development. I spoke with my WAW for almost 20 minutes over the phone. This is the longest we spoke in a year. It was mainly about logistics and exchange times. I’ve accepted the fact that my WAW does not love me anymore or wants to be with me. Perhaps she sees this now after her filing and we are able get along better with no pressure. At times, she is still cold and short, but I still go with the flow. I still love her deeply and I guess this is what unconditional love is all about.

black8 #2805099 08/04/18 02:20 PM
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black8 the only thing you can do to extend the clock is to leave all the work to her. Consult your attorney before agreeing to anything. Tell her got don't want to discuss the D except with lawyers present. Be kind, polite, upbeat, but firm when necessary.

Logistics about pickup times etc. are fine. Even feel free to be accommodating. But be brief. 20 minutes was too long.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
black8 #2805103 08/04/18 02:44 PM
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Thanks for the advice. WAW is sarcastic and cold today when she talks to me. I think she acts this way to justify her decision.

black8 #2805161 08/05/18 02:20 AM
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My last day of in house separation is tomorrow. I am looking forward to closure. My WAW is getting her wish, she filed. I avoided her all day and stayed out of the house with the kids. A wave of emotions. From anger to a sense of betrayal from a women who said she would never leave me 6 years ago. How much as changed. I look back at all opportunities I had to be a better husband to her and failed. This past year of separation has made me grow but this forum has made me stronger. Yes, I have my bad days. I wish I could tell her off and say she is destroying the lives of 4 kids. But I know I need to let go of the hate. I hope she sees one day the pain she caused and lost chances I offered to reconnect. I feel better that I did not give up. I took all the low blows and stayed strong. I survived to see her be the one who filed and all I respond with is love. She won’t even look at me in eyes anymore. I actually feel bad for her. She is still cold to me even though she is getting the divorce she wants. Why? I may never know. I still have hope that she will come out of this MLC, but it may be well after we are divorced. Thanks to all who helped me. Sandi and Steve, especially you. Good night.

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