Are you asking why your W does not appear to have the same level of interest/concerns for S as you do?
I am because this the the woman who gave birth to this incredible individual- just want to know what must be going on in her head. For me this would be a slow death.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Are you asking why your W does not appear to have the same level of interest/concerns for S as you do?
I am because this the the woman who gave birth to this incredible individual- just want to know what must be going on in her head. For me this would be a slow death.
Have you ever come across a wounded animal at the side of the road?
When you approached it and tried to help. it snarled at you.
Maybe it was your dog that loved you its whole life. But now it was hurting so bad that it just snarled, leave me alone. Dont touch me.
Are you asking why your W does not appear to have the same level of interest/concerns for S as you do?
I am because this the the woman who gave birth to this incredible individual- just want to know what must be going on in her head. For me this would be a slow death.
WWs are the most selfish creatures on planet earth. One day she may realize that her love for your S is much more than she was letting herself feel. Or she may not. The world is riddled with parents that are estranged from their children. Selfishness is the rule of our day.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hey Steve I kinda think that too but in the same breath this is not who I married and I feel there got to be a small bit of that person in there. I am hoping that sometime soon that beautiful person will re- emerge so that things can get better. I won't focus on that but it is just a hope.
Cadet you put an interesting spin on this topic- are you suggesting my W is wounded and only has the capacity for survival?
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
LW, and that is a possibility. As sandi says, it usually takes something to snap them out of it. In my sitch it was the bursting of her fantasy bubble about how nice and easy D and everything that was too follow was going to be. But a lot of that was because I caught my W's waywardness early. Unfortunately, most do not. And I think the further into waywardness and EAs/PAs a W is, the bigger the "something to snap them out of it" has to be.
But yes, eventually your W could wake up and realize that she has headed down the wrong path. But you are right not to focus on it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Okay, LW IMO your W sees your S as a way for you to continue to control her.
Somewhere along the way, W decides she is not going to take it anymore. She is self righteously going to take a stand. Make some changes for her. Whatever "it: is. When S is dragged into this scenario she as others have said see it as a threat to this commitment to make these changes.
Buddy, leave it alone. She will either permanently screw up her relationship with her S or not. S will be fine.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
S85, Cadet, RR thanks for the insight-point taken -Focus on what i can control-Thanks!
On a side note I watched the movie I Can Only imagine yesterday with my S. With out ruining it for others it is a touching story about a father son relationship and how God intercedes. It made me bawl when near the end of the movie the father puts his arm around his son and it focuses on his wedding band. If you have chance Listen to the beautiful song "I Can Only imagine " by Mercy Me. Very powerful and uplifting lyrics!
I can only imagine what it will be like When I walk, by your side I can only imagine what my eyes will see When you face is before me I can only imagine I can only imagine Surrounded by You glory What will my heart feel Will I dance for you Jesus Or in awe of You be still Will I stand in your presence Or to my knees will I fall Will I sing hallelujah Will I be able to speak at all I can only imagine I can only imagine I can only imagine when that day comes When I find myself standing in the Son I can only imagine when all I would do is forever Forever worship You I can only imagine I can only imagine Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel Will I dance for You, Jesus Or in awe of you be still Will I stand in your presence Or to my knees will I fall Will I sing hallelujah Will I be able to speak at all I can only imagine I can only imagine hey ya ah Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel Will I dance for You, Jesus Or in awe of you be still Will I stand in Your presence Or to my knees will I fall Will I sing hallelujah Will I be able to speak at all I can only imagine I can only imagine hey ya ah I can only imagine yeah yeah I can only imagine I can only imagine ey ey ey I can only imagine I can only imagine when all I will do Is forever, forever worship You I can only imagine
God is Good- ALL THE TIME!!!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
